On becoming Your Best Friend

by Shervin on September 8, 2019

Will you commit to accept and support yourself no matter what you may experience?

If your answer is yes, congratulations!  You are a great friend to yourself.

If your answer is no or you hesitated a bit, congratulations! There is something to dig deeper if you choose to do so.

Most of us give to others when they need help.

I bet you as a reader of this blog, if you see a friend in the parking lot with a panic attack, you will approach the person and try to comfort them without judging.

The question is why we cannot do the same thing for ourselves? Is it lack of self-love, or arrogance that we should be better than others or something else?

Also, have you ever thought of consequences of not accepting and supporting yourself?

Do you think such a person will feel safe and secure? How about having enough self-confidence?

I have a confession to make! This is what I have done in the past. I did not support myself.

I was not aware of this issue so clearly, but I kept asking myself why I react certain way and often look outside of myself for security, emotional support and encouragement. Over time it became very clear to me why.

For example, if I became angry; I judged myself about feeling angry rather than acknowledging the felling and telling myself I can see why I may feel that way; I also did not tell myself no matter what I am going through I will support the part of me that is upset. It is like talking to your good friend who is upset.

I have started being a better friend to myself. I have noticed a big difference in how I react and feel toward outside events now; I am more calm and confident. I know no matter what happens Shervin has my back.

Are you willing to be your own cheerleader and friend no matter what your situation is?

Are you willing to be committed to yourself without any agenda or conditions?

Are you willing to be your own best friend?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Making Sense of Difficult Emotions

by Shervin on August 25, 2019

Emotions sometimes confuse us. We may feel our emotions but we need to know that we are not the emotion.

I sometimes get confused about my own emotions.

I am happy that I can experience anger, grief, love and joy. I also can cry easily which is not typical of most men.

Sometimes I get stuck in sadness, resentment and disappointment. I may spend lots of time trying to analyze why I feel that way and judging the emotion at the same time.

Experiencing emotion is part of the path but is not the destination. We are supposed to feel and acknowledge our emotions and let them go.

The question is when is it enough to feel sad or angry and stop analyzing and rehashing our story?

If the same old thoughts and beliefs keep bringing us down, when do we say enough is enough?

My teacher, keeps reminding me that our natural state is joy. If we are sad or angry, it is unnatural and only needs to be experienced temporarily.

This is a bit contradictory to my past belief and observations. In the past, my usual emotional state has not been joy. When I accomplished something I allowed myself to be joyful!

When I am in regret of past or worry about future, I cannot be in a state of joy.

We all basically operate from two overlapping modes: our soul and ego mind.

When we are in our heart we are connected to our soul. When we are in our head we are most likely connected to our ego.

Our emotions are like a map pointing us to what two versions of identities we are operating on.

Any feeling that has lower vibration is not from our soul. It is typically from our ego, beliefs and up-bringing.

Feeling of unconditional love, gratitude, kindness, empathy, peace and harmony is from our soul. 

The question is how do we connect to more of natural joy within us?

The question is answered by asking what obstacles to experiencing your joy are.

These obstacles are what you control can and change.

I can share with you some of my obstacles in experiencing more joy:

  • Expectations (I am entitled to …)
  • Beliefs of how life should be
  • My stories of past hurts
  • Habits that lowers my vibrations (lack of self-care)
  • Identifying with my ego (I have done this great work  … therefore …)
  • Codependency (if so and so are not happy I cannot be happy)

Can you list some of your obstacles to experiencing joy within?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Feeling Lost

by Shervin on August 11, 2019

Last week I was late to my dance class due to a late meeting at work. As I was driving to my class, at a stop light, I tried to make a phone call. It made a wrong call and I quickly tried to hang up. I kept tapping on cancel button and nothing seemed to work!

Then all of sudden my phone switched to a different mode. It would not take in my passcode and keep repeating loud what I was typing in.

 I felt panic in my body. I felt lost!

How can I go anywhere without GPS? How can I get hold of anyone? 

I decided not to go dance. I was dealing with an emergency!!! I had to remedy this situation first. I had to find my way to an Apple store to get help. How can I go to store without my phone telling me where to go?

I drove toward direction of mall that had an Apple store. After getting lost for a while and with lots of help I found the store. I ran into store and told the technician that I really need his help!

My phone was switched to visually impaired mode, which literally made me feel lost and disoriented. It was fixed by the technician in few seconds.

I was really shocked at my dependency on something that ten years ago I could function without. 

I realized that I have stopped using my memory and stopped paying attention to how I go to places. I was also surprised on my reaction of feeling lost when I realized I am disconnected from the internet. I realized that I had over delegated too many responsibilities to my phone.

How would you feel if you do not receive phone calls, texts, emails or any news for a day?

Do you feel anxious? Why?

What aspect of your life have you over-delegated and are overly dependent on other things?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Worst Case Scenarios

by Shervin on July 28, 2019

I have created many worst-case scenarios in my mind and majority of them have never materialized. They ranged from simple daily concerns to career and financial security.

We sometimes are ‘certain’ that disaster will happen, and as the result we will be embarrassed or will be rejected or will be considered a failure. If we have a strong mind and focus on such events out of fear, it may actually happen!

Certain amount of fear is good to motivate us to act. But obsession with being right about our fears and suffering constantly as a result is not beneficial to our well-being.

Over time, I have learned that my mind plays a fear game on me, if unchecked. It is like watching a horror movie, we expect the scariest scenes as part of movie’s entertainment.

I used to worry about downsizing at work even if the odds was 1 in 500. I remember being very concerned about it and wasting lots of energy on all possibilities prior to announcement.  Now when such concerns show up, I ask myself what vibration I like to experience now? And what action is in my highest interest today?

Look at your past worst-case fears:

–       How did you react to them?

–       Did they materialize?

–       Do react differently to such issues now? Why? 

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Preserving Your Life Energy

by Shervin on July 14, 2019

We have a finite amount of life energy.  The more joyful focused energy we have, the more we can create and manifest. Also, the higher vibration of energy we have, the easier we can experience joy.

Staying healthy mentally, emotionally and physically also require our life energy.

Losing our energy is alike losing integrity of our being. We cannot be manifest and function with joy when we have a low life energy.

Having no clear boundary and attachments are the biggest sources of energy loss.

Let us look at some examples that drain our life energy:

  • Staying in lower vibration energies such as fear, anger, hate, sorrow, regret, Jealousy and control.
  • Offering help when is not asked. We get upset when our help is rejected, or not appreciated.  Due to lack of boundary and our attachment to a specific response we lose our life energy.
  • Feeling sadness and grief of others and holding on those feelings as ours. This is different that feeling empathy and being lovingly unattached.
  • Wishing for an outcome. We plant the seed of that desire. But we attach our fears and doubts to that desire and outcome. This saps our energy and stops the seed from growing.

Imagine your energy is like a large battery with many wires tapped out from it. Each wire can be worry, doubt, control, anger, sadness or expectation. We observe main output of the battery and conclude that it does not produce (create) much. It does not – because they are so many wires drain all its energy.

Some questions to ponder:

Are you lovingly unattached most of the time?

What forms of attachments drain your energy?

How often do you experience joy during the day?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Thief of Your Joy

by Shervin on June 30, 2019

What is the biggest obstacle to experiencing your joy?

Think of past few days about situations when you were upset and lost your joy.

What was the root cause of your loss of joy and peace?

When people and life do not meet our expectations we fight that reality; we may feel entitled to experiencing our expectations; we feel angry; we feel disappointed; we give away our joy as the result.

In my experience, the thief of our joy is our reaction when our expectations are not met. 

Let us look at some simple examples that we may give away our joy:

–  Your children did not call you when expected. 

– You were late to work due to crazy traffic. 

– Plans with your friends changed in the last minute. 

– You do not have enough money saved. 

– Your spouse did not clean up after himself or herself.

– The person on the phone was rude to you.

– You are spiritual and still get grumpy. 

– You are nice to people and they are not nice to you in response.

– People around you do not smile enough.

There is nothing wrong with having some expectations. For example, we expect a level of customer service and competence.

Sometimes our expectations are not spelled out or agreed upon or not practical all the time. How we react when our expectations are not met is the key issue.

Do you give your joy away when your expectations of others are not met or are you calm and respond from position of humility, acceptance, love and freedom?

Some questions to ponder on:

  • What expectations do you have from others/yourself that gives away your joy if not met?
  • Do you think people should behave according to your expectations? Why?
  • Why do you have any expectations at all?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Worry, Hope and Faith

by Shervin on June 17, 2019

Worry, hope and faith. We have them all. 

What are they and how are they related?

What worry and hope have in common is future. Worry is about a gloomy future that we try to avoid and control. Hope is an expectation of good future that we desire to reach.

Faith can be like an anchor that can keep us satisfied and steadfast in the present, no matter what circumstance we are dealing with.

Having a choice between worry and hope we need to choose hope. Hope brings us energy and optimism that we need to take action.

Faith is based on strong belief. Some beliefs are disabling.  Some beliefs can gives us strength in uncertain times.

Consider the belief, “No matter what is happening I will be OK”. This is a very valuable belief when we are dealing with fearful and unknown situations in life. With such a faith, we are calmer and can think clearly. Difficult situation will have less of impact on us because we believe we are/will be OK.

Imagine, being strong and unshaken in a world with so much uncertainty and challenges. Wouldn’t that living be more enjoyable and productive?

Take a look at your worries, hopes and beliefs. Your hopes and worries are related to quality of your belief.

Is there something about your belief that you can upgrade to experience more freedom and joy?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Check In Your Luggage

by Shervin on June 1, 2019

Have you traveled by a car while resting your heavy luggage on your lap?

Have you gone hiking while carrying a heavy luggage?

Have you gone to a dinner with a friend while taking all your books with you in a big backpack?

Above scenarios do not sound fun and are stressful to your body.

You may laugh and say that most people do not do what I am mentioning.

I agree! It is easy to become aware of physical heavy load and not carry it with us everywhere.  

There are other loads that we carry around with us without being aware of them. They are emotional and psychological loads.

I can tell by my own experience; those loads are harder on my body than load of heavy books in a luggage!

What makes emotional and psychological load heavy?

Fear, regret, resentment, and judgement create a heavy load.

Most of us maybe carrying those heavy loads and are used to them.

You may ask, how do I know if I am carrying the load?

It is simple and requires paying attention.

Is your life often joyful without any reason?

Do you feel relaxed during day or waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Do you worry a lot?

Do you care more about happiness of others than your own?

Do you have chronic pain in your body?

Do you do things out of obligation (with resentment that may not be aware of) or try to do them with joy?

Pay attention to your breathing and body. If you feel tense you are carrying luggage and a load!!!

Does this luggage and load really belong to you? Does it serve you by owing and carrying it?

Do yourself a big favor.

 Leave the luggage behind as if you check in at an airport. It is free to check them in!

Become free like a bird and enjoy yourself for few hours or minutes. You will appreciate the difference.

After-all, the luggage may not be your luggage and you may decide not to re-claim it.

Or you decide you like to move around freely and you let go of content of those luggage.

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Lucky or Blessed?

by Shervin on May 20, 2019

We all have experienced kind and impact-full loving people in our lives.

Strangers who show up out of nowhere, stay around for few minutes or years. Sometimes even family members fulfill that role.

I had many people who have had played that important role in my life.  Family members such as my dear aunt and strangers played roles of teachers and friends.

You may think you were lucky when met that special person. Now you may not feel lucky, especially if that person no longer is around. After all, how many times can you become lucky in your lifetime?

Many of us are in lack mentality. We try to hold on the good things and avoid the unpleasant. We may be believing that there are only limited good things going around or we do not deserve unlimited blessings.

Look at the events in your life. How many times have you been lucky? How many times unsettling events turn out positively?

Were all of those events pure luck? Or something else?

If we accept concept of pure luck, then loosing people that we appreciate, the job we love, all cause us pain and suffering.

 If we focus on source of our blessings, then life transitions are much less traumatic and painful and we always feel connected and blessed.

Over times, I have come to understanding that the force behind the scene brings events, people to me for my own good. This force whose by-product are many blessings is felt as joy and appreciation in my heart.

I may lose a job that I loved which was supporting me for many years. Another job will show up out of nowhere in a timely manner. I may not physically be with my mother right now, but other people show up from nowhere, provide motherly love and support toward me, when I need it.

I have learned to be appreciative of people and events. I also I know it is important not to be attached to the job or the people. They all may disappear; but there is only one constant.

I have realized what stays constant is the support and blessings that I continuously receive from the Universe (even though at times I may be blinded to it).

 Looking back, the support has been constant. It does not mean I did not feel pain or suffered due to my own resistance, beliefs or mindset. I have received the essentials needed for my survival, spiritual and personal growth up till now.

How many times have you been lucky? How many times unsettling events turn out positively?

Were all of those events pure luck? Or something else?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Lack of Trust

by Shervin on May 6, 2019

Imagine a toddler is being tossed up in the air by a parent. Typically, the toddler will laugh while being caught by the parent.

Why is the toddler laughing?

He/she is enjoying the experience while the toddler has complete trust in the parent.

As we grow older, the Universe acts as our parent. It tosses up in the air and tests our trust.

Our reactions depends on how much trust and faith we have in the Universe.

If we trust that we are taken care of, we may smile or at least are not be frightened of unknown (how safely and where we may land).

Having faith and trust in the Universe does not mean we abdicate our share of responsibilities. We do our best with focus and joy. We trust that the best outcome will happen and it will be in our best interest for our spiritual growth.

How do we build more trust in the Universe?

By welcoming the unknown with more joy and open heart.

Look at aspects of your life that you may be controlling or worried excessively. Most likely, at some level it is due to lack of trust.

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Personal Resurrection

by Shervin on April 22, 2019

I was in a group meditation couple of days ago. People were discussing meaning of Easter at a personal level.

When I was younger, I thought we just die once. Overt time, I have realized that is not true!

Many times, I have thought that I was dying (emotionally and physically) due to some challenges I had faced. When beliefs about our identity is challenged, we may feel that we are dying mainly by avoiding and judging certain unwanted feelings (fear, disappointment, shame, guilt). 

Some major sources of triggers of unwanted feelings are due to loss of job, breakup off of friendships, financial hardship, forced retirement, lack of mobility, loss of loved ones, etc. 

It is difficult to witness death of our ego and image of who we are (or should be). We have invested decades in building it up.  We may think it is impossible to survive death of our ego and who we think we are- that is very frightening at first. 

Most of us manage through our life challenges. Over our life time, we die to some aspects of ourselves.  We then have our own personal resurrection and miracle we can celebrate and cherish. We may become more alive as the result.

To me, one metaphor of Easter is dying to our fears, our limiting beliefs, and our ego and miraculously resurrecting to our new and truer Self. 

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Letting Go

by Shervin on April 7, 2019

You have heard the phrase, “Let it go and become free”.

You may ask, how can one let go of big hurts and disappointments?

It is not easy to let go of big issues and yet is doable.

It is like wanting to get in shape.

You do not start with running in a big marathon to get in shape. You start with small steps, like walking or biking every day first.

In letting go, you also start small. You make letting go of small things a practice and a habit.

 As your habit is stabilized and you realize value of letting go (even small things), you become your own advocate for letting go of big things that seem impossible to release.

What are some small steps you can take in letting go of?

  • Let go of anger about driver who cuts you off on the road. Focus on what is going well on the road instead.
  • Let go of disappointment about your mistakes and shortcomings. Focus on what things you have done right and not acknowledged.
  • Let go of memory of hard day at work. Take a warm shower, or walk in nature.

Letting go is similar to building muscle and strength.

Letting go requires practice and patience.

Letting go requires having compassion for yourself and others.

Letting go requires valuing your peace more than fighting to be right to satisfy your ego. 

What a small issue can you let go of now?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Learning from Blossoms

by Shervin on March 23, 2019

Spring is around the corner. You already may have noticed blossoms of fruit trees if you are living in a warmer climate. Some of the blossoms are aromatic and colorful.

These blossoms will disappear shortly.  All the beautiful petals will fall-off and the blossoms start turning into fruits.  Fruits bring us similar joy as the blossoms did.

This is part of process of nature.

Imagine if the blossoms resisted losing their petals and their transformation. After all, they are beautiful, and people enjoy watching and smelling them. If they do not lose their petals, there would not be any fruits and fruit trees would not deliver what they were destined for. 

Like blossoms, we may have many beautiful things that we do not desire to let go of. Our predictable relationships, our youth, our comfortable jobs, our aging parents, our pets and friends.  This is not possible to hold on to.  Like the fruit tree blossom, we are on a path of destiny that requires letting go with a graceful transition.

Blossoms let go of their petals with ease and transform with beauty and grace.

We are also required to appreciate the beautiful (and not so beautiful) experiences that we have had and let them go when required.  Every stage of letting go, brings us depth of feelings, new perspectives, maturity and growth.

What beautiful experiences are you holding on to that requires letting go to enhance your growth?

What bitter experiences are you holding on to that requires letting go to enhance your growth?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Appreciation

by Shervin on March 9, 2019

How can we feel more satisfied and abundant?

The general trend in most societies is that we need to have more things.

If that is the case, then why so many wealthy people are not happy and do not feel satisfied?

What brings us satisfaction and feeling of abundance is inner appreciation not necessarily what we buy.

How is that possible?

You do not need to own the oceans to appreciate the beauty of sunset on water.

You do not need to own a beach front property to enjoy walking on the beach.

You do not need to own a zoo to appreciate the birds.

You do not need to own jungles to appreciate the trees and tree blossoms.

You do not need to own a dog to love animals.

You do not need to have advanced degree to have empathy and understanding.

You however need the right mindset and open heart to appreciate your life.

Appreciation arises from our attitude and belief about life.

Appreciation arises from celebrating to be alive, despite all the challenges we may be facing.

Appreciation arises from being free of past or future and enjoying what is in front of us.

Appreciation arises when we open ourselves to connect with the Universe without any conditions or expectations.

What do you appreciate that gives you a deep satisfaction?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Invisible Walls

by Shervin on February 23, 2019

We erect invisible walls defining who we are and how we should function within those walls.

How do we recognize such walls?

Those walls can be felt and sensed.

As we get close to those walls in boundaries of our lives, at first, we have feeling of contraction and fear.

Observe your feelings when you feel fear and are very uncomfortable in an aspects of your life. You are at the edge of such wall.

The wall is our safe identity and comfort even though it confines us.

In some areas of our lives, the wall may be several yards away and we may feel more sense of freedom, expansion and joy.

Through awareness, hard work, humility, non-attachment and divine intervention we push these walls farther away.

We may measure our success in life in how large of an area we are walled in compared to others.

We are still walled in.

What would our lives be like if those walls did not have any impact on behavior at all?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Symphony of My Heart is Available on Amazon

by Shervin on February 13, 2019

I am very excited to announce availability my latest book,Symphony of My Heart, on Amazon.

Book Description

We seek to experience the divine through our relationships. Our longing to experience the divine starts in childhood through our parents and extends to others as an adult. Through trials and tribulations in our relationships we learn and understand what is important and what brings us ultimate joy.

These poems are meant to connect with you and validate your feelings: the times that you felt excitement, anticipation, longing, bliss, the feeling of a magical dream come true, disappointment of separation and loss, doubt, emptiness, and anger. Each emotion transforms you and points to what you truly seek and desire.

Read when you are in a high or low mood; in pain or joyous. Symphony of My Heart will ignite the hearts of all readers.

———

Please order a Kindle copy or paper back and enjoy reading the book.

 

 

 

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When Short Term Becomes Permanent

by Shervin on February 10, 2019

When we are in transition, we may take several short term actions toward our ultimate goal.

Many short term actions may end up becoming permanent without even realizing it.

What are some of the important short term decisions that may become permanent?

  • Where you reside and your environment which is not desirable
  • Your job and career which you may not enjoy at all
  • Expression of your truth and feelings that you hold back not to rock the boat
  • Certain sacrifices you make for short term
  • Physical activity that you may do less for something more urgent
  • Meditation and self-care due to lack of time

If we get distracted or do not get out of short term situations in a reasonable time, we may become comfortable in an uncomfortable situation (we did not plan for) which has many adverse impact on our happiness and health.

It is important to have access to caring friends or good coaches to help us to keep our momentum toward what we truly desire.

Take a look at look at important aspects of your life: career, heath, finance, spirituality and relationship. Which ones are short term and you are looking forward to something more fulfilling?

How long has it been in a short term situation?

What do you need to do to keep moving forward?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

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Prayer and Connection

by Shervin on January 29, 2019

Couple of days ago, I was reminded that we have free will. That means if we need help, spirit and guides will not interfere until we ask for help first.

That drew me to re-visit and investigate how to connect, communicate and pray effectively.

I found out that you need to be in a state of gratitude (by remembering blessings that you may take for granted) and express what you desire with humility.

This is different than other form of prayers when we are sad, desperate and beg from the spirits or God.

I also realized many of us communicate (with spirit or subconscious) in an undesirable way. We get irritated and we repeat how bad things are. At the best it is a form of venting about problems and not stating what we desire instead. Also, this form of venting lowers our vibration and puts our focus on what we do not want or do not have.

I have found out when I communicate in state of gratitude and humility, I am calmer, more relaxed and things go with ease during the day.

I like to share a prayer that I recite before I go to work. I have several prayers for different aspects of my life.

“Hi Angels, I request the most benevolent outcome at my work today. I like to experience ease, synchronicity, abundance, insight, appreciation, joy and cooperation. This or something better for my highest good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”

Do you communicate with the spirit or your guides?

What form of communication brings you the most joy and feeling of connection?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

 

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What If You Are Dreaming?

by Shervin on January 14, 2019

Have you been in a dream and all of sudden you realize that you are dreaming? Then you go along with the dream even though the cautious and scared part of you is very uncomfortable.

You may do many things in the dream that may be appear irresponsible or dangerous in your awake life. You do it because you know it is a dream and you are safe.

Through trial, tribulations and insights you may also come to a point that you see your “awake” life as a dream. Like a dream, you may do things that may appear you do not care about anything.

It is not that you do not care, you are lovingly unattached. You know all the drama in front of you is just a play in a dream. You wisely preserve you energy and not waste it on worry and being fearful.

When you realize that your awake life is just a dream then you can be playful and calm. You can choose where to put your energy into.

What are some factors helping you reach such a realization and insight?

Some factors are: ability to let go of ego, humility and awareness. One of the most important factor is the belief that ‘everything is OK now’ and ‘you are taken care of’.

How would live your life differently if you knew it is just a dream?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat

 

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Happy New Day!!!

by Shervin on December 31, 2018

Many people are excited about the coming year because it is new and provides hope that their situation will change and get better.

Every year has a new vibration and mass’s desire for change has a positive energetic impact on everyone.

We also have a free will. How a new year is different for you?  What are you bringing new to this year?

I imagine a new year similar to a bathtub with fresh, clean water in it. When we get into it, if we drag in all the old things that we are holding on to, soon that clean water will get muddy.

To celebrate the New Year and a new beginning, we need to end old things that no longer serves us and replace them with something better. This does not need to be something massive.

What are the old things that no longer serve you?

Maybe you decide smile more.

Maybe you take care of yourself more.

Maybe you decide to release some of your old habits

Maybe you decide not to focus on past hurts and let them go.

Maybe you focus more on what makes you happy.

The key to change is to identify what no longer serves you and replacing it with what gives you more life and energy.

Remember that every day can be a new year. You do not need to wait a year to make a change. You can do it today. Every day is a new opportunity.

Happy New Year and New Day!!!

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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