When Love Knocks

by Shervin on November 4, 2018

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi

What will you do if the love you desire knocks on your door today?

At first you may be very excited. Later on, you may reject the love and sabotage it.

How can that happen?

Your fears and doubts kick in:

  • You may feel that you are not worthy of love yet.
  • You may feel you do not have the right body size or enough money.
  • You may feel that you became lucky today; you may not stay lucky tomorrow.
  • You may feel some kinds of strings are attached.
  • You may feel the person deserves someone better.
  • They do not know your weakness and if they did they will not love you; so you may reject them first.
  • You have been hurt before.

This scenario is similar to going to a garden and questioning motivation of flowers or questioning your worthiness or state of mind prior to allowing yourself to enjoy color and smell of flowers.

The amount of love we can receive is proportional to our capacity for love. The more we have stories about ourselves or more conditions we put on the experience, the less capacity we have to experience love.

We delay experiencing love when we hold on to the expectation of shape and form of love that we should experience.

One can enjoy a beautiful flower in the garden at the moment, or can be sad about not having such a garden in their own house, or be sad on how soon those flowers will perish.

In my experience, fear, doubt, holding on to the past, and expectations are obstacles in receiving love.

What are your obstacles in receiving more love?

 

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Being Yourself

by Shervin on October 21, 2018

You have heard the statement that “I want to be myself”.

What does it really mean?

For some, it simply means do not want to be like person X or under control of person X.

Such a reaction is natural and common. It is like going to a restaurant to order a meal and you say “I do not want a hamburger”. Great first step.

How can you be yourself, if you do not know who you are?

How can you get to know who you are?

The prerequisites for finding the answer is to be free and honest with self.

How much of your daily actions are based on your inner freedom?

  • Do you feel free to express your opinions?
  • Do you feel OK if others do not agree with you?
  • Are you free enough not to care how others judge you?
  • Are you free enough to question your assumptions?
  • Are you free enough to follow your heart?

To know you, first you need to become aware of factors that block your freedom.

Take inventory of your thoughts and action for a day.

  • How many of them are energetic and heart centered?
  • How many of them are out of obligation and you force yourself to do them?
  • How many of them are reactions to people and events?

How free are you?

 

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Painless Giving

by Shervin on October 8, 2018

Do you like to give without future pain and disappointments?

If yes, then you need to drop expectation of getting something in return for your giving.

You may say that you always give without expectation. Is it true?

The true test is when you feel angry when somebody that you did a lot for, did not do similar thing in return.  You may feel furious and upset at your generosity and the other person.

To give requires honesty with ourselves and open communication with others.

If you do not want to give for sake of giving, then choose not to give.

If you want to give and want something in return, say it so upfront or make a contract. This at the beginning may take courage on your part.

Giving without expectation is a great spiritual practice. Clarify your intentions before any act of giving anything small or large. It will lift up your spirit and frees you from bondage of expectations and future pains.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Your Life Is Precious

by Shervin on September 23, 2018

You have heard that life is precious and we need to appreciate it.

But why, if most of the time we feel less than great about our lives.

It is because we have taken many things for granted.

Have you thought about odds of you being born? Your parents, grandparents and great grandparents and ancestors had to exist on a suitable planet like Earth to start their lives. They stayed alive despite all the wars, famines and diseases. They met the right person at the right place and time, they liked each other enough and conceived a child who survived childhood. Isn’t your existence unique and worthy of appreciation?

How about a butterfly that you see and take a picture of? Out of 100 butterfly eggs only 1 or 2 become butterfly.  A butterfly needs to be at the right place and time for you to see and take a picture. Isn’t this unique and worthy of appreciation?

How about your pet that you love dearly? How many things had to go right before that unique animal to be alive and stay in your life? Isn’t this unique and worthy of appreciation?

No matter how you are feeling at this moment, many things had to happen to make this feeling possible and so many things had to go right or not so right. How many dangers and disease did you bypass since childhood in order to be here today? What you are feeling by itself is a miracle and is very precious.

Look at your body and how many things working automatically which you really have no control over them. How many things needed to go right so you can wake up this morning and be able to read this article?

That is why your life and your experience are very unique.

You are very unique and the life you are living is very precious.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Memories and Beliefs

by Shervin on September 9, 2018

Why is it that most of our great memories are from our childhood?

Why it is that those memories are very simple in nature?

Why is it as an adult, simple such things in our lives do not create such great experiences anymore?

Why a scoop of ice cream was very memorable as a child while a gallon of ice cream now does not give us close to that satisfaction?

As a child three factors were working in our favor which helped us naturally to be in the NOW:

  • We were curious without expectations
  • We did not have much past memories
  • We did not have much of limiting belief systems

As an adult three factors are working against being in the NOW (enjoying like a child):

  • Good memories cause us to compare past with our current experiences
  • Bad memories that cause us not to be open to new experiences
  • Belief system on how thing should and should not be

As an adult we may have more expensive toys, eat fancier food, have bigger houses and more friends and yet we may not enjoy more memorable experiences.

To experience NOW we need to drop our past memories.

What memories good or bad are causing you not to be in the NOW?

What memories and beliefs cause you not to appreciate and enjoy what is in front of you?

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Safeguard Your Sanctuary

by Shervin on August 26, 2018

Would you allow bugs to crawl into your room every morning?

I would assume most people you would say, no!

Your room and home is your sanctuary. The bugs may disturb your peace of mind.

Many times, out of habit, we allow fear and anxiety in – without even being aware of them. We allow our sanctuary (heart and mind) to be invaded.

In my experience, social media and news are mostly negative. They are very effective in creating anger and fear.

Last week, I was wondering why I am not as calm as I used to be when I left for work.

I realized that lately, after waking up and before meditation, I quickly checked the news and social media. That was the source of my agitation! I was allowing my sanctuary to be invaded by sources that drained my energy, when I was the most vulnerable.

I stopped my habit of checking news and I felt much calmer afterwards.

This does not mean to cut off from news and social media. It means picking and choosing when to allow them in during the day.

Which of your habits allows your sanctuary to be invaded?

What habits can you let go?

What habits can you start that can bring your more energy and peace?

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Trust and Delegate

by Shervin on August 12, 2018

You have set your goals. You have worked so hard with focus and determination to overcome all the unexpected obstacles. Yet, there are more obstacles. You feel trapped, exhausted and frustrated.

What will you do?

Sometimes you need to delegate and let go.

You have done your best. Now leave it to the Universe for the outcome that is for your highest good. Be open minded on how it will happen.

If you believe and trust that highest good will come to you, you will feel free, feel more relaxed and will be happier. You will sleep better and new ideas may come to you easier without much effort.

Relax, trust and delegate; take some time from controlling every step.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

 

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How To Reduce Suffering

by Shervin on July 29, 2018

In my experience, steps required to reduce our suffering and allowing more joy in our lives are to feel our emotions and let go of our stories that created those emotions!

What do I mean by this?

If you feel sad, feel your sadness. Do not go around repeatedly telling yourself or others that “you are alone” or “nobody loves you”. Drop the attachment to the story!

We may need to experience sadness, anger, loss or loneliness as part of our soul experience or karma. But it is our choice to hold on to experiencing those feelings and prolonging suffering.

Our thoughts create feelings in us. It does not matter if the thought is accurate or not, the emotion is evoked as the result.

When we with deep emotion we repeat our stories, our subconscious without judgement provides that experience of “you are alone” or “nobody loves you” over and over again. Subconscious does not judge. It just provides you what you are stating with strongest emotion as a life experience.

Next time that you feel sad, feel it deeply!  Drop the reason why you are sad. If you like to say anything, re-direct your subconscious by what you want to experience next.

For example:    People show up in my life who love and appreciate me (instead of I am alone)

I am open and willing to experience love (nobody loves me)

Give this simple concept a try. The best way to know truth of something is to experience it.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Tomorrow’s Happiness

by Shervin on July 16, 2018

Everyone is chasing the illusive tomorrow’s happiness and they have a great plan for being happy in the future. The plan is something like this:

– When I finish my big project then I will be happy

– When my illness ends then I will be happy

– When this weekend comes then I will be happy

The ego mind has an elaborate mechanism to have you chase mirage of tomorrow’s happiness. This kind of conditional happiness, if ever arrives is very short lived.

Your project ends and you are thinking about the next project already before you have experience any happiness. If you are grateful, perhaps you had celebrated end of your project for three minutes!

Your illness ends and you think of what else may go wrong next or what activities you had missed already. You are not experiencing happiness!

Weekend comes and you try to make up for all the sadness during the week, but you are not able to. You are exhausted and by Sunday all you can do is to think about the dreaded Monday!

How to end the mirage of chasing for tomorrow’s happiness?

Happiness is either in this moment or does not exist. Tomorrow is like this present moment which also needs to be fully experienced.

We do not need to deserve happiness or work for happiness to experience happiness. Happiness is our natural state. When we release our beliefs and are connected to our inner Self, happiness is experienced without any effort.

We do not need to run toward mirage of tomorrow’s happiness; the happiness in in front of us and is available to be experienced without any conditions.

What are your beliefs about joy and happiness? Did you today count and felt your blessings?

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Experiencing Our True Nature

by Shervin on July 1, 2018

“Awakening is not changing who you are but discarding who you are not.”  Deepak Chopra

 

By experiencing more of our true nature, we can reduce suffering and experience more joy even while everything outside is in a chaos.

To experience our true nature, we need to remove obstacles to it which are our ego mind, beliefs and associated attachments.

To experience our true Self, we need to empty ourselves from mental notion of who we are, how things should be and experience what is there with humility and desire for truth.

At first we may feel emptiness and void. It may feel like death of what you have known and sacrificed for. It may feel the same as loss of a job, wealth or a loved one.

After that we may have experiences of our true nature and clearly realize the roles we are playing is not us. We realize that we need to play our role the best way we can, but we do not allow it to define our worth or define who we are or attachment to expectation of the outcome.  It is like being a rose; being the best rose we can be without concern for who may look at us, like at us or appreciate us.

Meditation and silence are some tools to remove the obstacles in knowing who you are and experiencing your real Self. It requires courage, letting go of your beliefs and tapping into your inner knowing in the vast emptiness.

I ponder on the following questions before meditation, to take me into emptiness and silence of mind quicker.

 

Who are you?

Who are you without your degrees?

Who are you without your savings?

Who are you without your job and status?

Who are you without your children and parents?

Who are you without your family and friends?

Who are you without your prized causes and stories?

Who are you without all your important responsibilities?

Who are you without all your worthwhile sacrifices?

Who are you without your fit or unfit body?

Who are you without all your deep hurts?

Who are you without all your fears?

Who are you without your plans and to-do-lists?

Who are you without your good luck charms?

Who are you without all your creative work?

Who are you without all your followers?

Who are you without your prayer books?

Who are you without all your spiritual knowledge?

Who are you without your guru?

Who are you without your busy mind?

Who are you without a known future?

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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On Authenticity

by Shervin on June 18, 2018

The first time I heard about being authentic, I thought it was a tactic to find faults with someone!

Over time I have realized being authentic is a natural inner desire and is the home where we love to return to.

Being authentic is an inside job and is about living from heart while discovering who we really are. It is not about condemnation or manipulation.

Through discovery of who we are we may find some behaviors and beliefs that are not authentic. We can replace those with more authentic thoughts and deeds.

Being authentic does not mean being perfect. People may see more flaws in an authentic person because there are less agendas to hide anything. Authentic person makes mistakes and learns from them.

What does it mean to be authentic to you?  Please share.

Being Authentic

Being authentic means looking into mirror of self without condemnation.

Being authentic means telling the truth even if is not politically correct.

Being authentic means not cherry picking the truth.

Being authentic means what you feel and what you say are same.

Being authentic means experiencing and arriving at your own truth.

Being authentic means doing things without guilt or grudge.

Being authentic means not being molded into what others want you to be.

Being authentic means being aware of thoughts and beliefs that may not belong to you.

Being authentic means not being driven by fear.

Being authentic means strong desire in knowing who you are.

Being authentic means strong desire in knowing who you are not.

Being authentic means letting go of your fear based ego.

Being authentic means feeling all your emotions.

Being authentic means being really honest with yourself.

Being authentic means following your heart.

Being authentic means giving without agenda.

Being authentic means knowing your boundary.

Being authentic means being in the moment.

Being authentic means loving yourself.

Being authentic means becoming aware of yourself.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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You Matter!

by Shervin on June 4, 2018

One of the most read popular blogs in the past ten years is titled “You matter”.

Why this subject is so popular?

I think deep down we know our presence matters and makes a difference. However sometimes our mind and our environment creates doubt within us and convince us otherwise.

We are sometimes negligent to acknowledge and express how others matters to us regularly. We may also think that we do not matter, due to our self judgement or arrogance that certain big things matters only.

You matter. You are a miracle. The world needs you the way you are.

Give to others what you expect to receive for yourself. Remind others how they matter to you today!

Give a call to a person you have not heard from lately. Get in touch with a friend that has been quiet on social media and indicate how they matter to you. Tell a loved one how they matter to you. Share your smile with a stranger in the grocery store.

 

You Matter!

What you do makes a difference.

What you do matters
no matter how trivial it is to you.

Your smiles matter.

Your silence matters.

Your intentions matter.

Your playfulness matters.

Your attitude matters.

Your stories matter.

Your words
even though few in number, matter.

Your helping hand matters
even if was only stretched out
for two seconds.

You make a difference.

You matter.

Copyright 2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Awareness

by Shervin on May 21, 2018

Why would you want to be more aware?

Is awareness free?

What is your understanding of awareness?

Awareness

Awareness is a bitter pill which brings your freedom

Its bitterness is about shattering your images

The bitterness is emptying you
from all beliefs and stories

The bitterness is accepting
your own arrogance and ignorance

The bitterness is letting go of
familiar and predictable miserable patterns

The freedom is letting go of all pretenses

The freedom is observing your inner state and
not having an urge to fix anything

The freedom is not about a destination but
an state – no matter where you are

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

 

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Searching For Love

by Shervin on May 6, 2018

“Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  ~Rumi

What are the barriers that Rumi is referring to?

Can it be our limiting beliefs, expectations, past hurts and our arrogance?

Love like Sun does not go away. It is always there. If we do not see or feel it then is due to some barrier rather than its absence.

Personally, I have experienced love when I have let go of expectation of how and from whom it should come from (form of arrogance on my part).

If you feel you do not have enough love in your life, what should happen so that you receive more love?

Maybe your answer is:

  • When I am a better person
  • When I have more money
  • When I lose weight
  • When my children are happier
  • When 1000 people tell me I am lovable
  • When I am healthier
  • When I publish my book
  • When I find my soul mate
  • When he/she apologizes

All the answers above, in my opinion, are the barriers to receiving love.

If love knocked on our door today, since our conditions are not met we will recognize and reject that which crave the most for.

Drop the expectation, requirements and conditions which are like a shield and barrier.  Open your heart, go in the world and you will feel the warmth that is seeking you.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Day that Everything Will be OK

by Shervin on April 22, 2018

How would you feel if you knew everything in your life will be OK, no matter what is happening?

What would you do differently if you knew that?

Would you be calmer? Smile more? Be more truthful? Have more courage?

How a belief and knowing can be so powerful that can change our reaction and how we may live?

You may say, come on.” Nobody knows if that is the case. I do not like to accept possible pain and suffering because of belief that may be good for me later.”

Fair enough.  How much pain and suffering do you currently experience by worrying and judging events as bad and threatening? Are you aware of how much energy you spend on that daily?

Let us talk this concept into reality and experience.

Pick a day and on that day pretend everything happening is for your own good and is OK. This includes, the loud dog barks early in the morning, slow drivers and angry co-worker, etc. Just observe and be present without judging.

Take inventory of your mood, ease and stress experienced that day and compare it with another comparable day.

What are your findings? Please share.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

 

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Are They Crazy?

by Shervin on April 8, 2018

Have you wondered why so many mystics welcome grief and hardships? What one gains from welcoming them?

Are they crazy? Not so.

I think there are two important factors to consider:

1- Practicing surrender

Surrender shuts off our mind in picking, choosing and judging and allowing us to experience life. This applies in both expanding (i.e. love, joy) and contracting (i.e. grief, fear) feelings.

How many of us have a preconceived notion how we should receive love and from whom?

How many opportunities of Grace and love have we missed, because of our belief and conditioning?

How many times have we thought an event is bad and after few years, looking back, we were grateful for that ‘bad’ event happening?

2- Expanding capacity to feel

When we increase our capacity to feel grief by not resisting it, we also open ourselves to receiving love and grace without effort. It is like having a bigger container, which you can experience deeper grief and even more importantly deeper love with ease.

It is not about looking for grief and sadness. It is about not resisting it when it comes up.

If grief knocks on your door, open the door. Because you are such a great host, love and joy may knock on your door at any unexpected moments.

 

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

 

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What are you holding on?

by Shervin on March 26, 2018

When we hold to an emotion by avoiding fully feeling it and do not process it, we lose clarity of our heart, mind and action.

You may have seen someone that was hurt by unfairness and they themselves are acting unfairly to others.

You may have seen someone who hates being judged and themselves are very judging of others.

You may have seen someone complain about bad drivers and themselves show the same behavior.

You may have had a bad day (someone was very rude to you) and then you yell at your loved one at home for any simple excuse.

What can be one reason?

When we do not resolve our hurt of unfairness, judgement or rudeness, etc. we suppress it into pain or anger or fear. Then from point of those emotions we justify the same behavior that we terribly disliked. It is avoidance of facing the original hurt and instead focusing on others to numb our own unresolved hurt. Sometimes we may even turn the anger toward ourselves internally.

To minimize suffering and confusion, is important to observe our actions and honestly question our motivations and emotions regarding our actions and reactions.

Is our actions based fear, anger, pain or love?

Are we willing to face our repressed emotions?

Are we willing to be honest with ourselves and others?

Remember, whatever we repress we get to keep as our master.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

 

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I am just a …

by Shervin on March 12, 2018

Why would someone say, “I am just a …..”

What will that person gain or lose as the result of narrowly defining his/her abilities?

Last weekend, my new neighbor’s brand new truck broke down in the middle of street. As I was leaving the house to go to gym, I asked him what is going to do with the truck. He said that he had called a tow truck.

When I returned from the gym, his truck was still in the middle of street and he looked very irritated.

As I approached him, he told me that he was still waiting for a tow truck and the tow truck had gone to a wrong address. He was concerned how he was going to work the next day.

I asked him that if he had checked on internet the symptom of his truck?

He said, “No. I am just a salesperson!”

His comment took me back. I decided to see if I can help the new neighbor.

I did some search and two minutes later the neighbor was a happy person. I shared with him how he can start his truck and move it from middle of the road.

This situation made me think.

I could judge his response or I could reflect inwardly.

I pondered the following:

What areas of my life do I say, “I am just ….” and I limit my own experience of life and suffer as the result?

How about you?

In what ways do you say, “I am just a …..”

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Stay Connected

by Shervin on February 26, 2018

None of us are perfect and we all have our unique challenges in our lives.

Sometimes we feel disappointed at pace of our progress in resolving our issues. Sometimes we may not see any ending to it and need someone else’s help.

In such a situation we may feel depressed, question our worth, isolate ourselves and close down our heart which one of worst things we can do to ourselves.

Think back to past situations in your life when you needed help and someone showed up, lifted you up and helped you through what you thought was impossible task by yourself.

  • Was that person challenge free in her/his own life?   No
  • Was that person perfect?                                                 No
  • Did that person think her/his help was a big deal?    Most likely No
  • Did you think that her/his help was a big deal?          Yes

Personally I have been receiving help and support from friends (with their own personal troubles) when I needed them. They always thought it was a not a big deal and I thought otherwise.

You see no matter where we are in life, we can give help to others while you are trying to solve your own issues. If everyone waited to be problem free before helping anyone, nobody would be able to receive help from anyone.

No matter how difficult your situation may be at this moment accept it.  Be present, open your heart, be the trouble-free self and interact with the world. Smile at someone, hug someone, listen, have empathy and trust that you are answer to someone else’s prayer.

Trust that your prayers will be answered at the right time.

 

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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Change of Plan

by Shervin on February 11, 2018

The plan was I take my mother from Virginia to San Francisco on Feb 6.   My mother was admitted a week before to hospital due to flu and other complications. We could not take the trip on Feb 6. There was a change in our plan. My mother took a different trip on that day.

My mother, Azam, was a great artist and loved nature. In the last few years of her life she was very present. She did not talk about past or future when we had tea or ice cream or watched people. Just being in the now was our biggest experience.

My mother loved her children and sacrificed for them greatly.  She also loved her grandchildren and was proud of them. She was a nurse midwife and loved any child who she met (I had to stop her rushing toward children in malls to hug them).  My mother was happy when children were happy and felt sad when she felt their pain.

My mother was also very caring. When in nursing home, acted as the nurse in charge. Always caring about other people and trying to hold their hands or calm them down or feed them.

My mother believed in education. I remember my mother sent several of our young house-helpers to school at her own expense so that they can have a better future.

My mother was a very proud and strong woman. While the Doctors kept telling us that soon she will be gone (for three years), she did not accept and even mentioned that she had lung cancer (never owned the cancer). The cancer along with memory loss, flu and other unfortunate factors had to conspire together to bring down the giant soul. Her last day was also act of love for her children.

My parents were both afraid of dying alone.  My father died alone at a hospital, in Iran, while we were en-route from US to visit him. My mother did not manifest and experience that fear. My sister and I were blessed to be by my mother and share our love and hold her hands while she took her last precious breaths.

I am grateful for several gifted friends who, supported me, and guided my mother’s transitions prior and after her departure through messages from her higher self. My mother communicated her wishes, her forgiveness, her love and appreciation to her loved ones and her regrets as part of preparing for her ultimate freedom.

Even though I feel raw inside from her departure, I know she is in a better place.  I am proud of the woman who gave me life and always was happy to see me. I am very happy that at age 54, I started telling her, “I love you”, in Farsi whenever I talked with her. I know expressing my love had immense impact on her and myself.

I learned a great deal from this wonderful woman and I am blessed to have her as my mother and teacher. Mom, go toward the light and be in peace.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat

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