Change and Chaos

by Shervin on July 6, 2020

How do we respond in times of change and chaos?

Put it mildly, many things are uncertain. Many of pillars that we rested our peace of mind on may be gone or crumbling.

We may dread watching the news. Our friends may not be as social as before. We may feel emotionally and physically exhausted. We may feel lonely.

What we are going through is a catalyst to know ourselves and grow. 

Look back at past few months. You have made it so far. You have adapted. You are stronger as the result.

We do not have control on many of the events. We have control on how we respond.

The best form of response is being in high vibration as much as possible.

The following reminders has helped me to raise my vibration which I hope they help you too:

  • Find things to be grateful about.  Remember our lives are about opportunities to grow and learn.
  • Remember pain point for everyone is different; What may be easy to deal with for you, may be very difficult for others.
  • Lower your expectation of how others should respond to you. Do not take things personally.
  • Be lovingly specific on what you need from others or what you can provide.
  • Be flexible. Plan and if things change, do not lose your peace of mind.
  • Do not get trapped in one perspective. Constantly ask Universe to help you see what you need for your growth.
    • When you want to pick fruits from a tree, you do not stay in one place and pick the fruit of that section only. You move around and with each new perspective there are new findings. This concept applies to many aspects in our lives as well.
  • Give others what you want to receive.
    •  If you want to be understood, make attempt to understand others.
    • If you want others around you be positive, you be positive.
    • If you want others be kind, you be kind in actions and words.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Love and Action

by Shervin on June 21, 2020

“Love without action is meaningless and action without love is irrelevant.” – Deepak Chopra

Action and love need to go together (with awareness) for our spiritual growth.

What are some actions related to love?

· Acceptance of the other person- it is not about fixing them.

· Being present with them.

· Being vulnerable to verbalize your love

  • Many people’s dream is to hear ‘I love you’ from their loved ones.
  • Verbalizing love is a good start.

· Acting in their love language

  • If someone loves flowers, showing your love by getting them power tools is not a very effective way to communicate that love.

Why action without (unconditional) love is irreverent?

· Any action based on vibration lower than love, can only reflect the energy that was put into.

  • Unconditional love brings out that energy in giver and receiver
  • Acting with expectations most often produces disappointment, resentment and anger. Recall a time that you may have given and later felt resentful because you expected something in return and did not receive in kind.

· If an action does not propel us toward raising our vibration, is self-defeating and not in our highest good.

I invite you to ponder about people whom you love (including yourself).

Is there an action you need to take to communicate your love more effectively toward yourself or others?

What would change if you acted toward yourself or loved ones with more unconditional love?

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Tribute To A Friend

by Shervin on June 7, 2020

Last Wednesday, a friend texted me with a sad news. He broke the shocking news that our common friend, Balmiki, who I have worked with in two companies – has unexpectedly passed away.

Bakmiki, was one of my few friends who I had at my work.  We had common passion for nature, photography and poetry.

We had enjoyable times walking, sharing pictures we have taken and talking about books we have enjoyed reading.

I had to ponder why I felt so sad from the news?  I have not talked to him for more than one  year since he moved to another city.

I realized that when we talked with each other, we were often laughing and exchanging ideas. 

Whenever I think of Balmiki, smile comes to my face.

Some reflections on my friend’s sudden passing:

  • Do not take anything for granted, focus only on important things.
  • By sharing our passion, we share joy with others.
  • Quality of our interactions is dependent on how present we are.
  • We remember people by how they make us feel.

Rest in peace my dear friend.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


How Sovereign Are You?

by Shervin on May 26, 2020

How much outside events influence your mental, emotional and spiritual state?

You are sovereign if we know yourself. This is more than knowing what personality type you are. This is about experiencing yourself to the core.

Knowing self is like being a tree rooted deeply in the earth. Winds of criticism, job loss, failures, rejections and lack of approval do not break or upset us.

If we do not know who we are, we are not sovereign. We depend on outside events/people to validate our identity. We are easily are manipulated, hurt or angered.

Most people, as a child, first try to fit in and be somebody ‘acceptable’. As soon as we deviate from the ‘norm’, we feel the guilt, shame and may feel unhappy and hollow.

After several decades of fitting in and seeking outside approval, this process becomes repetitive with no lasting joy. We may feel anger, resentment and may turn the anger on ourselves or others.

This is the time that we can challenge our beliefs, thoughts and norms that hold us back from knowing ourselves.

We decide to become self-ish and go deeper within. As a result developing a stronger root such that outside events minimally impact us.

Going within requires dropping all the thoughts, knowledge and beliefs about who we are and how we should be.

This is a process that with humility we connect to our heart.  We ask the intelligence within, through silence and meditation, to guide us to experience Self.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


On Manipulation

by Shervin on May 10, 2020

Manipulation is a way to control and direct others to have a certain desired behavior.

Some reasons for manipulation is lack of effective communication, lack of awareness and lack of honesty.

Some tactics used for manipulation are:

  • Fear/mis-information
  • Urgency
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Various forms of Rewards

If we are not conscious, we all will participate in such manipulative games.

If we are conscious and have a sense of who we are, then impact of such tactics are minimum on us.

As children we may be ‘directed’ by fear, shame or guilt for own protection. As adults same may apply.

What can we do in this regard?

  • The only way to improve things is to start with ourselves.  
  • Contemplate on how much you may manipulate others and through what means.
  • Contemplate through what mechanism you are most likely to be manipulated (fear, shame, praise…).
  • Only give and share when you have no agenda. This means you do not have fixed expectation of correcting other people’s behavior to your own liking.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


How to Respond

by Shervin on April 28, 2020

Imagine something unexpected happens. Your travel plans get cancelled. Your income is reduced, or an unexpected illness is encountered.

The default reaction is to get very upset and say why me? It does not seem to be fair! You have gone through a lot already and this was the last thing you needed. Your every step of recovery is encountered by constant grief and resistance to moving on.

You may also respond by acknowledging the loss and then turn the situation into wonder! You may wonder what gifts this difficult situation may bring you (remember Universe is on your side).  Of course, you may not know the answer yet, but changing your focus has several quick benefits.

With the above mindset, you are not bitter, you are more creative, and you are more relaxed. People around you respond with more ease and care towards you. The recovery step is surprisingly more pleasant than expected.

This concept is not just a theory. It has worked for me and I have experienced benefits of it.

Perhaps this approach can work for you too. You need to put it into practice to find out.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Reminders to self

by Shervin on April 12, 2020

Everyone is under stress and they have unique way of dealing with their own stress.

Our coping mechanisms are different. Some coping mechanism are stickier (negatively impacts others more) than others.

We all are feeling fear, anger, regret, grief during this challenging times and nobody is immune to such feelings.

The only control we have is to manage our own reactions and reality with awareness and practice.

Some points that I am often reminded of:

  • Be patient and loving toward yourself.
  • Have the same patience and love toward others.
  • Ask for what you need without being abrasive or angry.
  • Be supportive of others. Simple things matter.
  • Do not expect others to behave the same way you do. Your behavior may be annoying to others too.
  • When you feel angry, remember that most likely the root of your anger is from past that has not been resolved.
  • Many opinions are based on fear, greed or ignorance. Question them – even your own.
  • Let your heart and intuition guide you. Use your mind as a tool.
  • Find time to be quiet with yourself.
  • Just be. Not this way or that way.
  • Be humble. Do not take things personally.
  • There is a great joy in giving. Give with minimum expectation.
  • Take time to be grateful for past and present from depth of your heart. Let the tears of joy come down.
  • There is a great strength in honesty and feeling vulnerable.  Go with it.
  • Everyone has an agenda. Are you aware of your own agenda without judgement?
  • Do not panic. This shall pass. You will be stronger as the result.

My friends, you matter and you are needed. Be the highest vibration that you can be.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


The Invisible

by Shervin on March 30, 2020

The invisible enemy or friend?

The enemy who is everywhere and nowhere.

The enemy who is not detected by your normal senses.

The enemy who does not discriminate based on language or color or wealth.

The enemy who can bring physical death and pain.

The enemy who physically separates you from friends and family.

The enemy who disrupts what is familiar, comfortable and secure.

The enemy who honors no boundaries.

The enemy who is cunning and adaptable.

The enemy who can bring the worst in you.

The enemy who relies on your worry and fear to weaken your defenses.

The invisible enemy or friend?

The friend who reminds you to be humble.

The friend who reminds you to take responsibility for your boundary.

The friend who reminds you that your actions and thoughts matter.

The friend who reminds you not to take any moment for granted.

The friend who invites you to reflect on what is dearly important to you.

The friend who invites you to overcome the ultimate obstacle- your deepest fears.

The friend who invites you to go within and become your own friend.

The friend who invites you to take more responsibility for self.

The friend who makes your bonds with friends and family stronger.

The friend who makes invisible – visible.

The friend who invites you to be more resilient and creative.

The friend who brings the best in you.

The friend who helps you realize that we are in it together.

The friend who is a catalyst for more growth, faith, courage and love.

The invisible who you can love and hate at the same time!

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Dealing With Our New Reality

by Shervin on March 23, 2020

It is like a bad movie or perhaps a dream that we want to wake up from. Is it real?

Things has changed so quickly.  It is hard to believe.

We are pushed to take our life situation moment to moment to maintain our peace and sanity.

It is scary, if you are not used to uncertainty.  There are so many changes in our work, financial condition, living condition, sense of security and our interactions with others.

Many things that we took for granted have disappeared. Yet still are many things that we need to be grateful for.

I can imagine if I had experienced this situation 10 or 20 years ago I would have had a much harder reaction (I have observed, over the years, how my thoughts about difficult events have been inaccurate).

Many of us have an active imagination and assume the worst case. We also, identify with our job or finances which, with the current situation, may appear as treat to our identity and self-worth.

There are silver linings at the end of the situation.

I imagine that we will have more joy in doing previously mundane things such as having a coffee with a friend, hugging a friend, going to work, going to a restaurant, dancing or shopping at stores with full supply.

The question is what to do day to day?

  • Take care  of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually
  • Stay calm and do your best every day
  • Do not over think things;  Being fearful weakens your  immune system and takes your joy away
  • Focus on uplifting tasks such as journaling, reading, meditation, exercise or dance
  • Set a routine; many things has changed and a little discipline brings structure to your life
  • Stay connected with friends and family
  • Help others the best way you can;  It can be helping with grocery or listening to or inspiring someone
  • It is a great opportunity to work on something you love to accomplish. Perhaps it is the book you did not have time for or an exciting project at home
  • Find reasons to smile and focus on what you are grateful for (can you imagine a life with no internet, water or electricity?)
  • Think about a year from now; what inspiring story would you want to share with others?

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Game of Life

by Shervin on March 8, 2020

Living is about experiencing life events with courage and humility.

One can be ‘alive’ and still not be living.

What makes us alive is breaking the walls of fear and observing experience of who we are and who we are not. It is a game!

Would you want to have a friend/mentor that has never failed and has never tried anything meaningful to himself/herself?

Or would you want to have a friend/mentor who has failed, experienced hurt and know themselves better.

Rumi says,” What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.”

Why hurting can be a blessing?  Why darkness can be a candle?

What is worthwhile on the other side that is worth going through darkness and hurt?

  • In life we all experience hurt and sometimes, to avoid temporary hurt, we make choices that are not to our highest good.
  • Darkness forces us to drop limited images of who we think we are and to see and to experience our true essence.

We all will face challenges and hurt as well as joy in life. This is part of the game of life which come in a package.

During this game we need to keep asking ourselves:

  • Who am I?
  • What is my highest good?
  • How can my hurts be blessings?
  • Am I playing the game with courage and or curiosity or am I playing it safe?

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Life Purpose

by Shervin on February 24, 2020

What is my life purpose?

This is a question that sooner or later comes up and we like to have a heartfelt answer for it.

“I am getting older and still do not know what I want and what purpose I have.”

“What used to make me happy, no longer does. Why am I here?”

Does it sound familiar?

There is an unspoken agreements among many people, to live your life purpose, you need to be “successful” which is defined by our society, media and our family.

Those outside definitions of success at the end is not fulfilling, if is not defined from within.

I have thought about this subject often and that definition has changed over years.

For me the ultimate success is

  • Knowing myself
  • Accepting myself (loving myself comes later)
  • Being myself
  • Appreciating what is in my life

Can you imagine buying a tool, without knowing anything about it and trying to use it to fulfill its purpose?

Wouldn’t be much easier, to learn about it, accept its functionality, and then best utilize it?

Most people have small/inaccurate view of who they are and that limits living their purpose.

I believe ultimate life purpose is to love and allow to experience love.

We all take a slightly different path to reach that purpose, due to different life experiences and beliefs.

Does living life purpose take effort?  

No. It is like asking if receiving sun rays takes any efforts.

Does reaching to point to live life purpose (removing obstacles) requires effort and sacrifice?

Yes. It is similar to effort required to walking outside a building to receive the sun rays.  

Some obstacles to living our life purpose are: not knowing who we are, beliefs, lack of humility, expectation and judgement.

Some questions to ponder:

What were some of the most joyful moments in your life? What contributed to that experience? How did you contribute to it?

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Expectations and Happiness

by Shervin on February 9, 2020

What kind of expectations do you have?

Extent of our expectations determine how happy we are.

Look at the couple of few items that made you upset and kept you upset.

Were there related to some forms of expectations from others?

Why do we have expectations from others?

  • We like to be treated like we treat others.
  • We have sacrificed and expect a reward.
  • Certainty makes us feel secure and calm.
  • We have an image of how things should be.

Why expectation from others may disappoint you?

  • They may have no clue what you expect from them!
  • They may be deeply involved in their own issues.
  • They may not be as sensitive as you are.
  • They may not agree with your point of view or priority, at this moment.

I believe the expectations and disappointments toward our parents (first people we dealt with), carries its wounds in adult life.

We may still be sensitive toward certain issues that has disappointed us as a child.

It is good to know ourselves by knowing what things we are sensitive and reactive to. There is a story behind any deep reaction.

This does not mean to lower our expectations or do not do things with excellence. It means being aware of our reactions and communicate effectively if needed.

In business, expectations are more understood and agreed upon. But, at other areas of life may not be as clear or fully discussed.

In my experience, the less expectation, the more calmness and potential for a pleasant surprise.

What expectations do you have from friends or family that you have never verbalized?

What expectation (action or lack of) causes you a sudden reaction?

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Do We Value Truth?

by Shervin on January 30, 2020

At what point do we appreciate truth?

I believe that most people support the truth mostly if it does not harm them.

Will a lawyer seek truth at expense of his client’s freedom? 

Will a political party change its position because of discovering the truth? 

Will people at work speak the truth when they perceive their job may be on the line? 

One can understand in situations one hiding the truth to protect self or others from physical harm. What is the justification for hiding or denying the truth from ourselves?

It is said that truth sets you free; yes, only if you let go of ego and let go of defending your past positions.

Many people have invested many years in half-truths and inaccurate ideas; it takes honesty and courage to admit one has made a mistake.

Truth does not have value judgment; it just is. We try to judge it instead of accepting it.

If I do not trust life – that is not good or bad – It just is at this moment;

If I am not happy with my situation – that is not good or bad – It just is at this moment.

When you are hungry you say the truth at that moment about your hunger and there is no judgement.

Why we get offended when someone criticize us when he/she tells the truth?

Why we do not tell the truth when we feel sad, lonely, angry or scared? 

Is fear of judgement from others (position of ego) more important than truth? Isn’t that like being in a small prison cell?

What truths do you deny or judge? Why?

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Unmet Needs

by Shervin on January 13, 2020

We know nutritious food, exercise, meditation, laughter are all good for us. We also know certain behaviors are not good for us.

When we mention to our friends or family, “You know this is good for you, why you do not do it?”, We hear, “I know!”.

Why we do not do things that benefits us? And do things that are destructive?

One reason, perhaps is that we have unmet needs.

There are some universal needs such as feeling safe, connected, acknowledged, appreciated, heard, valued and loved.

We may not even know what those unmet needs are, but we feel the side effect in our choices.

We may have a need to feel heard. That need may be more important than being civil, not angry or being self-loving.

At subconscious level, we may do things that is not good for us – believing that will help us get what we need.

When someone says, I know this is good for me but I am not doing it. It really means I have unmet needs that are more important to me.

What are things that you know are good for you, you like to do and do not do?

Can you identify one unmet need?

In my experience, when I articulate my unmet needs, there is always an emotional reaction in my body.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


Lessons Of The Year

by Shervin on December 31, 2019

I like to share with you some reflections on 2019.

I was humbled to be wrong so many times during the year. Many of my projections, which logically should have happened, did not happen!

Those issues were all important and related to my sense of well-being and security.

At times I felt scared, worried, frustrated. I pulled myself out of those situations (seemingly like life and death) and reached some sense of peace.

Looking back, these were the common thing that helped me greatly to reduce my suffering:

  • I dropped my desire to have an immediate result; A month or a week is a long time to worry about it today.
  • I focused I what I could do the best today.
  • I accepted probable worst case scenarios, but did not feed them with fear.
  • I kept reminding myself, everything will be OK; I started every day as a new day.
  • I asked for help and support from friends with high vibration.

What surprised me was that I had support and help which I did not anticipate.

I spend lots of energy on things that did not happen.  What I have learned in the process can be used for next year to have more presence of mind and peace.

My take away from last year is:

  • Be loving to yourself and others
  • Do your best
  • Stop worrying; is OK not to know everything
  • Let go of attachment to a fixed way to reach your goal
  • Trust the process
  • Ask for help

I wish you a prosperous and joyful year ahead.

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat


Doing the Right Thing for The Wrong Reason

by Shervin on December 15, 2019

Our reasons in doing things matters a lot. Finding out about our real motives is a great way to know ourselves and make necessary changes if we chose so.

Let us look at some reasons for doing something right with two different motives.

–  Reason for helping people

   1- Love to help others

    2- Shows that I have value or want people to like me

–  Reason for Getting married

   1- Share joy together

   2- Feel Lonely

– Reason for having children

   1- Love children

   2- Somebody to take care of me at old age

–  Reason for buying a new home

   1- My dream house

   2- Need to keep up with my siblings

–  Reason for getting into politics

   1- Help others

    2- Cushy job to get wealthy and powerful

-Reason for worshiping God

1-Feel him/her in my heart

2-Fear of punishment

All the above actions are considered right. But its spiritual and psychological quality depends on their reasoning and motives. Unhealthy motives like fear, greed and lack take our joy and inner peace away and leave us empty.

What is one right thing which you do that you think it requires to have a different motivation?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat


Altering Your Mood

by Shervin on December 2, 2019

You have heard the statement that you create your own reality and potential happiness. Is it true?

I agree with the above statement based on my own experiences where changing one thought can change my mood.

There may be events that we may not have control of or at surface is not our own creation. But how we think about it, has direct impact on us.

Imagine worry and fear about finances that you may not have enough income. 

How do you feel as a result of that thought? I would feel worried, scared and agitated.

Imagine now if you can change the thought and belief that your finances in the future will be taken care of and you will figure it out.

How would you feel as the result of that thought? I would feel relaxed, calm and energetic.

We can list many other similar thoughts that can bring us misery or joy.

It may sound optimistic to think about positive side of issues. For many people, including myself, being calm and relaxed provides better opportunity to solve issues. 

I know there are people who are constantly worried and are on guard. I have not seen much calmness and presence in them. They usually ends up moving from one drama to another with no joy.

Our situation in life, is a hybrid of factors. Some factors may seem we had no control over its creation.  Some factors we have control over – our beliefs and reactions which determines quality of our living experience.

What are top stress causing thoughts for you?

How would you like to change your mood through your thoughts?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat


Saying Yes To You!

by Shervin on November 17, 2019

Two weeks ago, I was inspired to share some of my recent poetry. I signed up as a speaker for my toastmaster group. I was looking forward to the meeting on that Friday.

On Wednesday afternoon I noticed several missed calls on my phone. I called back the number. It was from a person in my toastmaster. She asked me if I could forfeit my speaking position for two reasons:

       1- She has a speech about Halloween that was very long and required two time slots. 

       2. She did not want her toastmaster friend to worry about another speaker. 

Out of my past habit, I immediately said yes!

After hanging up the phone, I felt very sad about my decision. I was upset at myself and was also resentful. 

I realized I did not had to say yes.

I asked myself, why did I give my spot to someone else while I was excited about my speech?

I realized this was my old habit had kicked in and sabotaged what I wanted to do.  I realized I needed to be more aware of my old tendency.

You may sometimes say “Yes” to others instead of saying “Yes” to yourself. 

How do we get out of such situations?

– Do not commit right away.

– Ask yourself, “Am I saying yes because of inner fear of avoiding external conflict?”

– Focus on what you love to do, when you cannot decide.

I have realized the things I love to do brings me joy and tasks that I feel I have to do sometimes brings me resentment – if it stops me from doing what I love to do.

Being a “nice person” and at the same time being resentful about it is self-defeating.  It is more meaningful being nice to yourself and allowing your joy flow to others instead.

Something to ponder:

Are you committed to do what you love at expense of saying NO to others?

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat


If You Had One Day

by Shervin on November 3, 2019

Sometimes we feel that we are lost in the forest of life and we do not see the big picture or a way to clarity,

There may be many things uncertain, we may not be present (too much mental chatter), be confused and not motivated to do anything.

In such situations, it is important to renew our life perspective and remember what is really meaningful to us.

If for whatever reasons I am unable to be present (through meditation or gratitude), I ponder what would I do if you had one day to live?

This question brings to focus what and who are important to me (gets me out of my head and into my heart).

This answer to that question is more than quitting my job which is about what I do not want to do (go to work).

Such a question brings to surface:

  • What vibration do you want to hold today?
  • Who would you wish to call or visit?
  • Who do you like to tell you love and appreciate?

You will be surprised noticing that there are many meaningful things you can do without much motivation and confusion when you are in your heart space.

After all, there is no guarantee any of us will be around tomorrow.

This it is great way to fulfill our heartfelt wishes today and re-affirm what is really important to us.

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat



by Shervin on October 21, 2019

How do we self-sabotage?

We know what the right thing to do is, but we do not do it.

For example, we may know that certain food or behavior is not good for us and we need to avoid them. Or we may know certain activity like monitoring our thoughts or exercise is beneficial to us. We even say, “I know” I need to do this.

Why is it that sometimes we are stuck in the status quo?

  1. We get stuck in over analyzing the situation
    • We want to know all the reasons why we behave such a way.
    • We keep focusing on our regret why we are in this situation in the first place.
    • Here is the first step of self-sabotage.
  2. We do not take the first simple step
    • Our mind convince us that our step should be bigger or more meaningful and we buy into it.
    • Here is the second step of self-sabotage.
    • Note that a simple step always is hardest and also is the most rewarding.
  3. We set ourselves for failure by not doing anything constructive towards our goal.
  4. We beat ourselves up for being a failure
    • Here is the ultimate self-sabotage.

Allow me to give you an example of how we may do self-sabotage.

Let us assume you want to do lose 20 Lbs. to feel more fit and happier.

  • You know that you need to be active daily for 45 minutes. But you cannot find that time.
  • You may get upset (and stay upset) at yourself or obsess why you are so unfortunate and others seem to be so happy and fit.
  • This is start of self-sabotage.

How do we break the self-sabotage?

  • Re-iterate the reason why you want to lose weight.
    • Are you doing it for yourself? For others? Someone important to you?
    • Does the reason still excite and motivate you?
    • If not find a better reason or re-evaluate your goal or its method.
  • Start being active for even 3 minutes; show yourself that you are committed to your goal.
  • Celebrate your simple steps.
  • Focus on what feels like when you reach your goal.
  • Look at ways to improve the activity time longer.
  • Find a friend to support and encourage you toward your goal.
  • Always be kind and gentle toward yourself.

Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat