Shervin Hojat Blog

Demented Love

by Shervin on May 12, 2013

Over 5.3 million people are diagnosed with dementia in the US and over 24 million worldwide. These numbers may mean nothing to us unless we personally experience the impact this dis-ease has on the people around us.

My mother has symptoms of dementia. One of the most difficult things to do is to stand by while your loved one(s) experience the symptoms of this dis-ease. It is important to step into the shoes of the people who experience this dis-ease and have love and compassion for them.

This Mother’s Day, take a moment and appreciate all the Mothers, especially those who are experiencing the effects of dementia.

Love Me!

My world has been turned upside down.

I often do not know where I am.

Whose house is it?

Who am I?

What has happened to me?

I wake up and go to bed fearful, always fearful.

Things are so complicated!

I love peace and tranquility.

Why do people around me get upset and angry at me?

I just do not remember things.

I feel the tension around me and I do not know why.

I just want to be peaceful and loved!

Talk to me with simplicity, dignity and love.

Touch and hold me often.

Like a mother loving a child.

Help me feel secure and safe in this world I am unable to remember.

All I want is to be loved and know everything will be OK.

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For The First Time

by Shervin on April 28, 2013

I participated in a Family Constellation session based on a method pioneered by Bert Hellinger (http://www2.hellinger.com/en/home/). After a short relaxation and creation of individual intentions, the session started. The facilitator, Phyllis Lejeune, was a gentle soul and created a safe environment to tap deeply into everyone’s emotional body. In a typical constellation, a person who is the most emotionally compelled is invited to select representatives from the group to represent their family members.

As we discussed what was going on for everyone, I felt sadness in my heart related to my family and asked for the creation of a constellation. People in the group started representing my family and everyone shared their feelings and insights. By allowing myself to be open and having a desire to feel my inner child grief, with help of the group I was able to transform my unconscious grief into joy. I highly recommend trying Family Constellation as a means of getting in touch with your hidden emotions, understanding your feelings and ultimately bringing joy to your inner child.

Please contact Phyllis Lejeune (PhyllisLejeune@gmail.com) who lives in Austin, Texas, if you desire to participate in a Constellation session.

For the First Time

For the first time in my memory
Mom and Dad were talking with each other calmly
without yelling, insulting or blaming each other.

The child in me was shocked with disbelief.

For the first time in my memory
Mom and Dad took responsibility for their actions.

The child in me was amazed and crying out in joy.

For the first time in my memory

I did not need to intervene or feel responsible for their
arguments.

The child in me was calm and peaceful.

I realized how much emotional pain their arguments
burdened my child within.

The child in me could just observe and be.

The child in me was no longer responsible
for the unhappiness of my parents.

The child in me is smiling
with expansive joy and gratitude.

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Unfortunate Events

by Shervin on April 14, 2013

Have you ever received a phone call and the person on the other end was so upset it seemed as though something terribly unfortunate had happened? And, after talking and discussing the events/issues, the one who called realized it really was not as bad as he/she thought?

Our ego has a protection mechanism based on fear, mainly the fear of survival. Ego tells us if such and such happens, it will be the end of us! In most cases, the situation may be emotionally intense and difficult to experience. Our ego does not understand how resilient we are. In many cases, the depth of intense emotion, combined with the loss of something dear helps us grow spiritually; something that is not within the comprehension of our ego.

What do you consider a really unfortunate event? An unfortunate event is when we lose and compromise our soul. The loss of our soul is the ultimate tragedy for which we need to be vigilant and protective. Any other event is manageable since we have our driving source (soul) within us alive and active.

Unfortunate Events

What is the most unfortunate event/tragedy you can imagine?

Your favorite sport team’s loss?

Dead end career?

Gloomy retirement?

Big tax bill?

Losing a job?

Losing a lover?

Losing someone?

Loss of a limb?

Death?

What is the biggest tragedy that will
impact your essence?

The biggest tragedy is to lose our soul’s voice and connection to all that is.

Think about your most unfortunate event as if it has already happened.

Did it cause a loss of your soul?

Did you lose your voice, joy and heart connection?

Be vigilant against big and little events
where your soul’s essence may be compromised.

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Emotional By-Pass

by Shervin on March 31, 2013

What are you feeling today at this moment? Can you name your feelings?

There are at least two ways to avoid ownership of our feelings. One disowns feelings by blaming someone else for creating it (i.e. he ruined my day). The other way is rationalizing it as a mental exercise to avoid feeling the actual feeling. We may lose a pet and have grief associated with it. We may avoid feeling our grief by saying,”he lived a long time” to make it OK not to grieve the situation.

It is important to investigate those parts of our life where we take ownership of our feelings and what parts of our life we use blame or rationalization to avoid feeling our feelings.

Emotional By-Pass

There are many defense mechanisms
to avoid feeling our feelings.

At first we may blame others
when we feel a negative emotion.

“You made me angry.”

“You wrecked my day.”

We abdicate our responsibility
by not owning our feelings.

We may also avoid feeling our feelings by rationalization.

“I feel better when I do not read the paper.”

“Don’t feel bad. It happens to everyone.”

“This is not my responsibility.”

Using rationalization and blame to
avoid feeling our feelings
is an emotional by-pass!

Avoidance instead of acceptance!

Escapism instead of being in the moment!

Feeling our emotions is not just about feeling good!

It is about connecting and being consciousness.

Do you allow yourself to feel all your feelings
or
are you sedated by your emotional by-passes?

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Healing Crises

by Shervin on March 17, 2013

When we experience a feeling (pain, not being loved, not wanted…) and we feel threatened by our feelings we may repress them.

As we heal ourselves emotionally and spiritually, those repressed feelings (memories) will naturally surface to be healed. These repressed and typically unwanted feelings are available to us to be felt in our body and to be acknowledged with enthusiasm (no resistance) which then transmutes into healing energy and love.

We may experience “negative” feelings and symptoms when we are detoxifying our body. It is important to be aware of where we are in our healing (physically, emotionally) process. Sometimes the return of “old” symptoms may be an indication of our healing and needs to be celebrated instead of resisted.

Healing Crises

She said with sorrow and tears:

“I want to die.”

“I have no reason to live.”

“I have failed in everything I have done.”

“What is the meaning of my life?”

He replied:

“Life is what you make of it.”

“Nobody can tell you what your life should mean.”

“Have you felt like this before?”

She replied:

“I hate feeling so empty. I feel pain all over my body.”

After a long delay and soul searching she replied:.

“Yes. As a child.”

He replied:

“Perhaps you are healing what you could not face as a child.”

“You are not getting worse. You are getting better!”

“Be OK with what you are experiencing. Welcome it!”

“Your healing is an indication of love returning.”

She replied:

“Yes. Love!”

“That is what I forgot about!”

“The person that I loved the most hurt me the most.”

“I have equated love with hurt.”

“I avoided feeling hurt and hence I avoided love!”

“Ahah! I get it now.”

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Shame of Being

by Shervin on March 4, 2013

Do you worry if your friends may not like or approve of you? If so, you probably have some reactive charge within you. Perhaps it may be the feeling of a child who does not like disapproval or ridicule and perhaps as a result you are avoiding feeling the childhood feelings again.

Intellectually, we may know that we should not care what other people think about our thoughts, careers or how we express ourselves. However, we may not understand this emotionally!

If we, in the past, were ridiculed and have not resolved what we have felt, then we are carrying a charge within us. To remove or let go of this charge, usually negative, we are sometimes required to feel the same feeling (remember) when we were shamed or ridiculed. By facing, welcoming, and loving what we are feeling, the reactive power of that event will be able to be released.

Shame of Being

Lurking in the dark corner of the room
a person stares at me.

The critical voice of an adult
index finger wagging.

You should not be this way.
What is wrong with you?
You are stupid!

The voice echoed with a tone of superiority
crushing the young soul.

Willing to face the critical voice,
the fear and threat of humiliation
are transmuted into courage.

Focused eye of a child
now in an adult body
looks toward the dark corner.

I am no longer afraid of you!

I do not need your approval!

I forgive you!

I allow me
to be comfortable
with me!

I am more than I ever imagined!

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Listen?

by Shervin on February 18, 2013

One of our greatest needs is to be loved by being heard. With the short attention span and addiction to constant visual and auditory intake, it may be a challenge for many of us to really listen to what our children, spouse, family or friends are saying.

I was at Stanford hospital recently helping my mom go through a needle biopsy. In the recovery room, there were computer screens with writings emphasizing the importance of listening to the patient. The Chinese verb for listen was used to make the point.

In Chinese, the verb listen consists of the words “you”, “heart”, “eye”, “ear”, and “undivided attention”. Listening is seen as an intention to remove all distractions, opening our heart (empathy), observing body language and using our ears to take the sound in.

Take an inventory of those people who you listen to. Are you listening based on the Chinese definition? If yes, congratulations! Otherwise, be aware and implement all the components required for true listening. Remember – everyone has a desire to be truly heard.

Listen to Me

Hear me, my dear.

Open your heart to feel my words.

Have empathy and patience for what I am sharing with you.

Hear me not only with your ears
but also with your eyes and heart!

Observe my facial expressions as I speak.

They have a story that mere words may not convey.

Observe me with your attention, as if we have just met for the first time.

Let go of making listening time
between TV commercials and text messages.

Hear and listen to me
with your mind, heart, ears and eyes.

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Will You?

by Shervin on February 4, 2013

There are times that we travel through the dark night of our soul. There are times that our life events feel upside down, unpredictable and overwhelming.

We may call upon on God, spiritual beings, higher self, friends, family or our spouse/mate for help. Although the sources of help may be different for each of us, the request of the call is the same.

Have you called out to anyone? Why did you choose that person?

Will You?

Will you open your heart for me?

Will you accept me when I seemingly don’t have it all together?

Will you hold me while I feel my sadness?

Will you hold me to feel protected from the chaos around me?

Will you love me even if I appear unreasonable?

Will you make a quiet time to be with me?

Will you allow me to lean on you while I regain my strength?

Will you …..?

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Balcony People

by Shervin on January 21, 2013

Let’ take a look at the people whom we adore and look forward to spending time with. What characteristics do they have in common?

In my experience, the common theme among the people I adore is their unconditional love. They accept me for who I am and honor my free will. They teach by example, not by force or guilt!

Take inventory of the characteristics of the people you adore who have been there for you. Acknowledge those characteristics and integrate them in your daily interactions with others.

Balcony People

Who are your balcony people?

Those people who have been cheering

and encouraging you to be all you can be.

Who was your first balcony person?

Your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, friend, siblings, stranger …

Who are your balcony people now?

Acknowledge and thank your balcony people now!

Are you your own balcony person?

Do you support, cheer and acknowledge yourself?

Do you do the same for others?

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Are You Ready?

by Shervin on January 6, 2013

Have you heard of the Chinese man who loved dragons? He drew them, collected their statues, read everything about them. He was considered an expert on dragons. One day, a real dragon wandered by and stuck his head in the window where the man was living. The man ran away from his house and was never heard from again!

Many people assume enlightenment is only a mental process, having a certain shape and form. In reality, enlightenment may not match our mental expectations. Enlightenment may also challenge us physically and emotionally if we do not let go of our limited belief, identity and resistance to feel our feelings.

To really know ourselves requires challenging our identity and beliefs. It requires welcoming and feeling repressed feelings which we have been avoiding. Feeling our emotions is not a mental process, it is required to be felt and experienced in our body and then expressed responsibly.

Are You Ready?

Are you ready to turn the light on?

Are you ready to walk through what
kept you away from your consciousness?

Are you ready to face and hear the dragon?

Are you ready to let go of the many thoughts
and beliefs that you hold dear?

Are you ready to let go
of your limited
yet familiar identity?

Are you ready to feel those emotions that you have been avoiding?

Are you ready to walk into the unknown?

Are you ready to let go of control?

Are you ready to face the dragon
without knowing
what is really on the other side?

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Size Matters!

by Shervin on December 24, 2012

What are the sources of your joy? Your agitation? Are they small or large in size?

Small joys in life accumulate together to make one’s life alive and thriving. We sometimes ignore small sources of joy and turn our attention to small frustrations and make them big deal. Many times we do not feel and express our joy until a big task is accomplished (graduating, retiring, and getting married). We also may become agitated with small things, that in the big picture are very trivial (careless drivers, burned toast, etc).

Pay attention to how easily we allow agitation into our life and how rigidly we allow receiving small joys in our life. Question your beliefs about receiving and self worth.

Size Matters

Do you believe that size does not matter?

If you believe that it does not matter
think again!

What are the biggest sources of agitation and joy in your life?

Are they small or large in size?

A small pebble may agitate you to no end.

A small and sweet thank-you may change your mood.

A loud noise may not agitate you
as much as a cricket may.

A small amount of excitement from your pet
may bring you joy.

A back ache may not agitate you as much as
an itch on your back that you cannot reach to scratch.

A large cut may not be as painful as a tiny paper cut.

What are your sources of agitation?
Small or large things?

What are the sources of your joy?
Large or small things?

How much energy do you invest in them?

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Little Red Bag

by Shervin on December 10, 2012

At one of our NOG meetings (Nourishing Our Gifts), I met Carolyn. I was amazed that she had taken it upon herself to greet prisoners when they were released from the prison in Huntsville, Texas. She would meet them at the bus terminal where many of them had no one to meet them while they were trying to get back “home”.

Carolyn indicated that at their release from prison, the prisoners received a little red bag to put their belongings in. Everyone in town who saw the red bag knew that the person was just released from prison. The red bag was a two edged sword. Criminals knew the person who carried it had money. Police and towns folk knew the carrier of the bag could be trouble. For Carolyn, the red bag was not something that positively helped the newly released prisoners in their first experience of freedom after fulfilling their personal debt to society.

Carolyn made it a personal campaign to replace the red little bag with backpacks that did not attract attention. She succeeded in doing so and earned many sincere thanks from the newly released about to re-enter society.

This story was very touching. How thoughtful of Carolyn to help prisoners have a better chance of creating a new life for themselves and not attract negativity. The little red bag was a symbol of being disadvantaged at the get go, no matter how well intentioned the prison’s leaders were.

One meaning of prison is “place of confinement”. Can the confinement be just physical? Of course not!! Our biggest source of confinement is our mind. What little red bag do we carry? In what way do we keep ourselves at a disadvantage from the get go in our spiritual journey?

Little Red Bag

Have you heard the story of the man
just released from confinement?

Confinement that may be
physical, emotional or mental.

He was given a red little bag to carry his belongings.

The little red bag was an attractor.

It attracted everyone and everything, good and evil.

The little red bag conveyed a message by the one carrying it.

I have broken society’s law or my own divine law.
I have made mistakes.
I am not perfect.
I have been judged and have paid my dues.

People seeing the red bag would interpret it as:
Let us take away his resources.
He is trouble.
Let us put him back in his confinement.

What little red bag do you carry with you
verbally, emotionally or spiritually?

Will you allow yourself to reinvent yourself with a new vision
or do you choose to stay in the past, reliving the old stories and their patterns?

How do you judge other people carrying their little red bags?

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Undeveloped Talents

by Shervin on November 25, 2012

Do your parents have a talent: writing, singing, painting or music? Do you think you have the same talent and are as good as them? If no, how did you arrive at the conclusion that you are not?

As a kid, I hated drawing and painting. My mom was a great painter and I was expected to get good grades at school, therefore I always asked my mom to draw and paint my art assignments. I always believed that I was not talented until I started painting at the age of fifty.

I became attracted to expressing myself, and after taking a painting class I was surprised how excited I felt about painting. I had a very low expectation of my talent (how bad could I be?) and I was surprised at what I accomplished. I no longer felt that I needed to compete with my mother and there was no grade pressure either!

Now, painting is one of the pleasures in my life. When I hear my friends say that they do not have the talents of their parents, I smile and tell them I‘ve been there. Our parent’s talent is a gift that we may have and perhaps are not nourishing or allowing it to grow. Revisit your parent’s talents and you may find an unopened gift. You may be pleasantly surprised, just as I was!

Undeveloped Talents

“I don’t have the talents of my parents”
said the man.

How do you know if you have inherited
the talents of your parents?

Think of a kid playing basketball with his talented parents.

After couple of setbacks in plays
he may have a new belief.

Will the child say
“I am not as good as them so I can not be as talented!”

What will the child do when he grows up?

He believes that he is not as talented as his parents.

Talents require incubation.

Like a seed that requires nourishment and light to grow.

As a child we were very receptive
of criticism and negative feedback.
We took it as absolute truth about our talent.

Talent can not be incubated with the
viruses of doubt and comparison.

How do you know you have not inherited
your ancestor’s talents?

What do you have to lose by
working to develop some talent
that you believe you do not have?

Think of what you can gain.

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Change of Consciousness

by Shervin on November 12, 2012

Have you ever experienced a change of your consciousness? What did you experience and what did you feel?

I had an opportunity to experience Body Electronics which helps one to remember past repressed memories (what we have resisted in our current life or previous lives) and transcend them with love and enthusiasm. The experience was very intense!

I felt peace and calm after experiencing the drama of resisting the pain of remembered memories where I was feeling angry and helpless. It was like walking from an extremely hot temperature to an air conditioned room. It was like turning a light on in a dark room. The experience helped me realize how repressed memories and emotions can alter my perspective of my current reality.

Change of Consciousness

What is it like when our consciousness changes?

Will you remember your previous conscious state?

The experience may be different for each person.

When waking up from a dream
did you remember what transpired in your dream clearly?

Similar to recalling a dream,
the memory of our previous state of consciousness
may be foggy and piece-meal.

You may be very excited about your wake up experience
yet words are not sufficient to express your experience.

At first, you may feel uneasy about your unfamiliar new state of consciousness.

Fear and worry are not driving your actions
in the new state!

Refreshed and wondering.

Many questions come to mind!

Will our physical death feel the same as a change of consciousness?

Will the resulting change of consciousness at death be similar
to waking up from a dream?

Will we remember our life as a foggy dream
after our death?

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Volcano Within Me!

by Shervin on October 28, 2012

You are constantly defining and re-evaluating who you really are. You may have followed all the rules to success, got an education, got a job, got married and had children and still feel the emptiness within yourself.

You may feel that you are more than what you portray yourself as to the outside world. You may be frustrated at yourself for compromising your soul’s desires to just get along with people, be silent, and “not rock the boat”.

It is important to connect and listen to your soul and heart to receive guidance. Take time, meditate, feel and listen to your soul’s desire which is a constant reminder to what you are set to be and experience in this life time.

Volcano Within Me!

The container defining “who I am“ is full!

Time to get out of this tight and restrictive place!

I am more than what I can fit
in this container.

Enough of playing it safe and
following someone else’s rules.

There is a volcano within me
wanting to be heard and seen.

There is a volcano within me
wanting to reshape my world.

There is a volcano within me
wanting to break the artificial barriers
of the past.

There is a volcano within me
yearning to soar the skies and move freely.

Release the volcano’s top
and let the lava flow freely.

Melt! Melt!
my old container.

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Song Bird

by Shervin on October 15, 2012

Our traumas can have a lasting effect on us. We may avoid situations that remind us of an event since the “pain” of remembering (feeling) at one time was too much to bear and we still think it is the case.

It is understandable as a child, that experiencing traumas, we may suppress feelings and the memories of such events to survive. This survival mechanism needs to be dealt with so that we do not run away and react unconsciously to events over and over when there is no danger present. If we do not heal our past traumas, we will not be whole, and we may not experience that part of us who is joyful and vibrant. This story of a song bird that faced many traumas may resonate with you.

Song Bird

The song bird was happy, courageous and strong.

The song bird flew everywhere singing his song.

One day a wild cat attacked the bird.

The trauma of the attack drew the bird to a safe tree where
cats could not go.

One day, one of the trees cracked and made a tremendous noise.

The song bird became more frightened and looked for a more secure place.

He settled on a tall, remote tree.

The song’s bird’s songs were not as vibrant
but he felt safe.

One day lightning struck the tall tree.

The song bird looked for more safety.

The song bird found an empty cage in a house of a nearby town.

He settled in the cage.

He felt safe in the cage
protected by his master
promising him security from animals and lightning.

The song bird lived many years safely in the cage.

He never again sang the vibrant songs he used to sing.

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The Door Has Opened

by Shervin on September 30, 2012

Are you the controlling type? Do you like to think about your experience before actually experiencing it? Do you feel frustrated by your own procrastination of tasks that you know are good for you?

In our journey of self discovery it is important to be persistent, loving and methodical. It is also sometimes important to move forward even if we know our fear to experience something is about avoiding feeling certain emotions. The more we proactively welcome feeling our emotions the less we will be forced to feel them in events in our life.

The Door Has Opened

Carefully seeking half truths to feel safe!

While walking at the edge of dark and light fearing both!

Uses control to experience small amounts of light at a time.

“Good enough” is the mantra.

Unaware of his true beautiful self
plays it safe and cautious.

Walking a tight rope on his memory’s lane of
pain, anger, fear, resentment, grief;
repressing them all in his subconscious.

A jolt of love repressed under pain of separation
shocks his emotional and physical body.

Ego is overwhelmed and loses control!

Forgotten memories appear with vivid images.

Time is not a variable.

Was it fifty years ago or two thousand years ago?

Who knows? Does it matter?

Memories with stunning energy are ready
to be harnessed and understood.

The door has opened up
cannot push the light back out!

He recklessly embraces the light
with his full being.

Calm, alive and determined
gazes forward.

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Compulsion to Help

by Shervin on September 16, 2012

Are you the type that looks to save and fix anyone that you meet, sometimes contrary to your highest good? Do you help others fix up their house while your own house needs fixing?

Sometimes we subconsciously occupy ourselves with helping others so that we do not have time to focus on our own issues that require attention and healing. We may become submerged in our compulsion to help, to our detriment, which may manifest itself in constant fatigue and resentment. Friends may see what is happening; however we may not be aware of the impact of our helping actions on ourselves.

Compulsion to Help

You are the life saver!

You jump in the dark, murky waters
to save someone who is drowning

You feel connected and validated by helping others.

What happens when the person holds on to you tightly and
does not let you gasp for air despite your repeated attempts?

What happens when she/he takes you deeper under the murky waters?

How are you helping now?

Do you sink to the bottom in the spirit of helping?
or
Do you get loose from the person to save your own life and then return to help?

When do you decide you need to save yourself
so you can help others later?

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Being Enthusiastic

by Shervin on September 2, 2012

What is enthusiasm? It is a Greek word meaning God within us. How enthusiastic are you in your daily life?

My greatest teacher of enthusiasm is our dog, Tiber. He is a small toy poodle who barks at things with enthusiasm. He drinks water with so much excitement; it seems as if he has had no water for days. He is so happy to see you, with so much excitement, no matter if he saw you a minute ago in another room.

We are born to be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm changes our body chemistry and enhances our connection with the Universe. For the next day, feel your feelings with enthusiasm. Eat and drink with enthusiasm. Go to bed and wake up with enthusiasm. Feel the difference in yourself.

Be Enthusiastic!

Enthusiasm transforms whatever it comes in contact with.

Enthusiasm is a blessing.

If you are in apathy, be enthusiastic about it!

If you are grieving, grieve with enthusiasm!

If you feel fear, welcome it with enthusiasm!

If you feel anger, experience it with enthusiasm!

If you are in pain, feel it with enthusiasm!

If you are excited, embrace it with enthusiasm!

Enthusiasm is the key to healing our

past traumas and transmuting our repressed emotions.

Be enthusiastic and transmute your emotion into
life force energy and love.

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Anticipate or Participate?

by Shervin on August 19, 2012

Do you anticipate or participate in your life? Are you always experiencing your life with the distractions of the past and future? Do you welcome what you are dealing with now passively or with excitement?

We anticipate things in our life as a means to ensure our survival and as a way to control what we may experience (feel). Sometimes we may forget to let go of anticipation and embrace, engage, and enjoy our current (present) moments available to us without a need to control.

Anticipate or Participate?

Some anticipate what the next song may be.
Some listen to the song.

Some control what is inside.
Some let their zest come out uncensored.

Some anticipate life.
Some participate in life.

Some are numb and protected.
Some are sensitive and receptive.

Some imagine how it should feel.
Some feel and experience the moment.

Some mourn what was.
Some welcome what is.

Some imagine what swimming might be like.
Some swim in the river.

Some feel through their mind.
Some feel with their heart.

Some hold on by breathing shallow.
Some let go by breathing deep.

Some prepare to live in the future.
Some live in the now.

What aspects of your life do you participate in enthusiastically?

What aspects of your life do you try to anticipate?

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← Previous Entries

Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

Demented Love

For The First Time

Unfortunate Events

Emotional By-Pass

Healing Crises

Shame of Being

Listen?

Will You?

Balcony People

Are You Ready?

Size Matters!

Little Red Bag

Undeveloped Talents

Change of Consciousness

Volcano Within Me!

Song Bird

The Door Has Opened

Compulsion to Help

Being Enthusiastic

Anticipate or Participate?

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