I am just a …

by Shervin on March 12, 2018

Why would someone say, “I am just a …..”

What will that person gain or lose as the result of narrowly defining his/her abilities?

Last weekend, my new neighbor’s brand new truck broke down in the middle of street. As I was leaving the house to go to gym, I asked him what is going to do with the truck. He said that he had called a tow truck.

When I returned from the gym, his truck was still in the middle of street and he looked very irritated.

As I approached him, he told me that he was still waiting for a tow truck and the tow truck had gone to a wrong address. He was concerned how he was going to work the next day.

I asked him that if he had checked on internet the symptom of his truck?

He said, “No. I am just a salesperson!”

His comment took me back. I decided to see if I can help the new neighbor.

I did some search and two minutes later the neighbor was a happy person. I shared with him how he can start his truck and move it from middle of the road.

This situation made me think.

I could judge his response or I could reflect inwardly.

I pondered the following:

What areas of my life do I say, “I am just ….” and I limit my own experience of life and suffer as the result?

How about you?

In what ways do you say, “I am just a …..”

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat


Stay Connected

by Shervin on February 26, 2018

None of us are perfect and we all have our unique challenges in our lives.

Sometimes we feel disappointed at pace of our progress in resolving our issues. Sometimes we may not see any ending to it and need someone else’s help.

In such a situation we may feel depressed, question our worth, isolate ourselves and close down our heart which one of worst things we can do to ourselves.

Think back to past situations in your life when you needed help and someone showed up, lifted you up and helped you through what you thought was impossible task by yourself.

  • Was that person challenge free in her/his own life?   No
  • Was that person perfect?                                                 No
  • Did that person think her/his help was a big deal?    Most likely No
  • Did you think that her/his help was a big deal?          Yes

Personally I have been receiving help and support from friends (with their own personal troubles) when I needed them. They always thought it was a not a big deal and I thought otherwise.

You see no matter where we are in life, we can give help to others while you are trying to solve your own issues. If everyone waited to be problem free before helping anyone, nobody would be able to receive help from anyone.

No matter how difficult your situation may be at this moment accept it.  Be present, open your heart, be the trouble-free self and interact with the world. Smile at someone, hug someone, listen, have empathy and trust that you are answer to someone else’s prayer.

Trust that your prayers will be answered at the right time.


Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat


Change of Plan

by Shervin on February 11, 2018

The plan was I take my mother from Virginia to San Francisco on Feb 6.   My mother was admitted a week before to hospital due to flu and other complications. We could not take the trip on Feb 6. There was a change in our plan. My mother took a different trip on that day.

My mother, Azam, was a great artist and loved nature. In the last few years of her life she was very present. She did not talk about past or future when we had tea or ice cream or watched people. Just being in the now was our biggest experience.

My mother loved her children and sacrificed for them greatly.  She also loved her grandchildren and was proud of them. She was a nurse midwife and loved any child who she met (I had to stop her rushing toward children in malls to hug them).  My mother was happy when children were happy and felt sad when she felt their pain.

My mother was also very caring. When in nursing home, acted as the nurse in charge. Always caring about other people and trying to hold their hands or calm them down or feed them.

My mother believed in education. I remember my mother sent several of our young house-helpers to school at her own expense so that they can have a better future.

My mother was a very proud and strong woman. While the Doctors kept telling us that soon she will be gone (for three years), she did not accept and even mentioned that she had lung cancer (never owned the cancer). The cancer along with memory loss, flu and other unfortunate factors had to conspire together to bring down the giant soul. Her last day was also act of love for her children.

My parents were both afraid of dying alone.  My father died alone at a hospital, in Iran, while we were en-route from US to visit him. My mother did not manifest and experience that fear. My sister and I were blessed to be by my mother and share our love and hold her hands while she took her last precious breaths.

I am grateful for several gifted friends who, supported me, and guided my mother’s transitions prior and after her departure through messages from her higher self. My mother communicated her wishes, her forgiveness, her love and appreciation to her loved ones and her regrets as part of preparing for her ultimate freedom.

Even though I feel raw inside from her departure, I know she is in a better place.  I am proud of the woman who gave me life and always was happy to see me. I am very happy that at age 54, I started telling her, “I love you”, in Farsi whenever I talked with her. I know expressing my love had immense impact on her and myself.

I learned a great deal from this wonderful woman and I am blessed to have her as my mother and teacher. Mom, go toward the light and be in peace.

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat


The Gatekeeper

by Shervin on January 27, 2018

I had a dialogue and encounter with my gatekeeper that I like to share with you. Perhaps. It may help you get to know your own gatekeeper better.

You may ask who the gatekeeper is.

Gatekeeper is part of you who wants to protect you, is scared and is in survival mode.

Last week, I had one of the moments of deep sadness and though/feeling of being helpless.   I confided with my friend about it. During the conversation I used many words like “I do not want to be helpless” or “I do not want to be sad”. After realizing my areas of resistances and during meditation afterwards, I faced my gatekeeper.

As I was allowing myself to be sad, feel helpless and feel them in my body, I felt the gatekeeper. He was very scared. He was worried to lose control if flood of emotions were felt in my body. He was literally blocking my energy centers like a dictator.

All of sudden, I felt angry and had a serious conversation with the tiny gatekeeper.

– Who are you to decide what I can feel or not feel?

– Who gave you the authority to censor things on my behalf?

– Why you cause me so much pain under cover of protection?

All of sudden, a gush of energy flowed in my lower energy centers. I felt intense heat all over my body. I felt alive. In midst of chaos I felt calm.

I realized that it was not the feeling of sadness and being helpless that was painful to me but resistance to feel (through the gatekeeper) that caused my pain and agony.

Next time that you feel out of sort and exhausted. Get help. Become aware of your inner and outer dialogues.

Is it the gatekeeper manipulating things? Take charge and do the right thing.

Copyright @ 2018 by Shervin Hojat


Survive and Thrive the Chaos

by Shervin on January 14, 2018

How can we survive and thrive the chaos around us?

We can do it by raising our vibration, by being in the present and by focusing on desired outcomes.

Look at the following statements that all maybe true (yet they have low vibrations):

  • I am cold; I should have saved more money; it is Joe’s fault.
  • I am alone; I am afraid that will be alone the rest of my life
  • My work sucks; I hate myself for making such a bad choice

Look at the alternative statements (reflecting your attitude) that raises your vibration, keeps you in the present and focuses on what you really desire:

  • I need to buy a warm jacket
  • I desire to experience love now
  • I wish to be excited and to be respected at my work

Copyright @2018 by Shervin Hojat



How to Get Unstuck?

by Shervin on January 1, 2018

How do feel stuck in our lives?

We get stuck by trying to be perfect, wanting to be 100% certain of results, avoid iterations and avoid being uncomfortable.

How do we get unstuck?

We get unstuck by moving and action. We do not take any random action. We take inspired action in direction of what makes our heart happy. Remember any small inspired step is better than not moving at all.

If you want change your career, take the small steps toward it without waiting for a guarantee of outcome. Learn new things, update your resume, and move forward with your search. Every step, even a rejection after an interview is a step toward your goal.

If you want a better relationship, take small steps toward that goal. Get to know yourself. Be more authentic, be considerate and get out of your comfort zone. Remember rejection is also a step toward your ultimate goal.

Get unstuck by moving and inspired actions. Take the short walk. Become vulnerable. Make the phone call. Talk to the stranger. Ask the question. Explore the unknown.

Look for the guidance along the way.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Resistance to Feel

by Shervin on December 18, 2017

Do you have resistance to doing very simple things such as replying to an email, talking to a stranger, watching your own speech video or asking to be treated properly?

I have realized that mostly when we have a resistance, it is avoidance of “negative” feeling such as sadness, anger, rejection, etc. It goes like this … I do not want to do this because I do not want to feel ….

Resistance in general takes too much energy. Also, when we avoid certain feelings we are not living our life fully with confidence and joy.

How do we reduce our resistances?

  • Ask yourself what is the benefit of resistance and delay? Will the delay make the problem go away?
  • Ask yourself in doing the task is in line with your goals and your heart desires? Will it make you a stronger and more confident person?
  • If answer to part 2 is yes, do the task right away.

As you consciously question and remove resistances in your life, all your actions will be inspired action in line with your personal and spiritual growth and you will feel more alive.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Chasing A Butterfly

by Shervin on December 3, 2017

I do photography and I am very fortunate in taking pictures of butterflies close up. How do I do it?

I do not chase the butterflies. I find a place near flowers, relax and sit without any expectation or thoughts. Then the butterfly appears and lands near me for a picture. If I am tense I do not attract any butterflies.

Our happiness is like a butterfly. If we are tense and angry and chase our happiness we will never catch it. We will feel tired and disappointed. If we sit down, relax, release anger, resentment and do what we enjoy doing then butterfly of happiness will land near us.

Release, enjoy what you love to do and the beautiful butterfly will find you!

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Sacred Dream Guest

by Shervin on November 20, 2017

Imagine that you have your dream meeting with a special person that may be the most beautiful physically, mentally and/or spiritually. This person will be your dream guest at your residence for couple of hours.

Your dream has come true! But your residence is not tidy and dishes are dirty. You either decide to ignore the mess and hope you can dim the lights so nothing can be seen or you are panicking and telling everyone how little time you have to clean.

The sacred dream guest arrives. You start distracting the guest not to see the mess or you start telling the guest how upset you have been and at the same time frantically start cleaning your residence. At the end of night you are disappointed. You even did not get a chance to have a meaningful conversation.  All you have is bragging right about the visit but no real deep experience.

This sacred guest for most people is feeling of love and intimacy. We all crave for it and yet we do not keep our residence (heart) tidy and clean for our sacred dream guest.

What keeps the dishes dirty and residence untidy?

It is unresolved emotions such as fear, anger, hate, sadness, self-pity, jealousy and resentment. We typically avoid such unpleasant feelings hoping nobody notices them or we talk about them and do not feel and process them in our body. To feel a feeling we need to invite the feeling into our body without judgement and be with it for a while (like slowly washing a dish calmly without any resistance or complain).

When we have a tidy residence and clean dishes, we can be truly be present and can experience our sacred dream guest with bliss and joy.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Halloween Mask

by Shervin on November 5, 2017

Imagine you were a small child and you were invited to a Halloween party that you had to make your own mask. You rushed, dressed up and made a mask based on what was going in your life. You wanted to make sure your mask stayed on for the party so you found a special glue in your parent’s cabinet called “fear glue” (like a crazy glue), which was very strong and you applied it to the edges of the mask which went on your face (too young to know any better).

The Halloween party was nice, everyone was there. You were scared and also had some fun. The special glue had a side effect that caused you amnesia. You forgot who you were. You took on the role that you dressed up for the Halloween party as you grew up. You may have dressed up as unwanted person, angry person, victim, guilty person, ashamed person, invisible person, the bully, loud person, not good enough person, cool guy, perfect one, or the tough one.

As you grew older, you felt uncomfortable, grumpy, were not happy and did not know why. Due to age of the glue, your mask started to get wobbly.  You could sense someone is behind the mask which is different than the mask.

On one very special bright day, you started looking in the mirror and at your mask at privacy of your room and asked yourself some simple questions:

  • Who am I?
  • Who is behind the mask?
  • Who is looking in the mirror?
  • What is real? Is the mask real?

Then suddenly you had a spark of insight. You remembered the first Halloween party! You have been living someone else’s character since the Halloween party.  You started remembering yourself before putting the mask on many years ago. You at first felt very angry for all the suffering and confusion. At first, you blamed the adults in your life. Then you started laughing out loud. Everyone had used the same kind of glue for the party!

You said:

What a long Halloween party and what a crazy circus!

It is time to remove the masks and be authentic!

Have you discovered the mask you wore at your first Halloween? Share your experience please.


Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


You are Not Flawed!!!

by Shervin on October 20, 2017

You thoughts and beliefs may be flawed, not you!!!

We, all as small children, accept certain thoughts and beliefs. For example, if we heard that our parents were fighting with each other and we head our names, we assumed that we have caused the fight and we were the source of disharmony. This may have caused us feel guilt or shame in us.

As children, out of love and purity of our hearts, we may have decided to fix the situation based on the false beliefs. We may have decided to obey our parents at any expense so there is no fight at home. We may have decided to punish ourselves for being bad or flawed by ignoring our needs.

After 40, 50 or 60 years we may still be repeating the same patterns and may be miserable. We may easily accept blame or ignore our needs.

When you find out what flawed beliefs you have accepted, and why, you will plant the seed of freedom in you. You can look at the flawed beliefs and observe how they have repeated themselves with various people in your life.

At one point you may even start having compassion and love for the child within you that out of goodness of his/her heart tried to solve a complex problem. And most importantly, after so many years realizing that you are not flawed just your beliefs are.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Open Your Heart!

by Shervin on October 8, 2017

We have many energy blockages as the result of our unresolved emotions.  The blockages do not allow us to have our heart open completely and experience life fully.

Let say if someone was mean to you and you did not let go of feeling of hurt right away. You kept thinking how dare he could be so mean or insensitive? You are consumed by your thoughts and you are holding on the energy of hurt and resentment and hence created a blockage. You walk outside, you do not notice the beautiful flowers, the smile of strangers because you have closed your heart due to that blockage.

Let us assume we create more blockages as time goes by. All of sudden you notice that you do not enjoy simple things like the flowers or the ocean or the tress. You do not have time for them or do not feel like it. You wonder why others get so excited about flowers, trees and ocean. Others see and smell the same thing you see and smell, but they most likely have less blocked energy than you.

How do you unblock the energies you have accumulated?

  • You have to become aware of change in your energy when something is triggered. Someone may say something that remind you of the first time you felt hurt. You need to distinguish if feeling of hurt is from that person in present or a memory of blocked hurt.
  • As soon as you identified the blockage, remember that you are not the hurt. You are only experiencing feeling of hurt. Let the feeling of hurt or sadness flow through your body and acknowledge releasing it.

As you become more aware of your triggered emotions, you can release them with more ease and hence open up your heart for more of life experiences.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Feel it and Claim it!

by Shervin on September 25, 2017

We all have trapped energies in our bodies. These are our feelings that we have repressed to avoid feeling them. These emotions want to be acknowledged and released from our body.

I have found the 5 steps below to be very effective in releasing such trapped emotions.

  1. Name the emotion you are feeling, i.e. fear, sadness
  2. Find location of emotion that you have named in your body, i.e. throat, stomach
  3. What words do you hear when you focus on the emotion?
    i.e. “I feel scared that nobody will love me”.

4. Is what you heard in step 3 reasonable? Is it normal to feel scared if you believed nobody will love you?

5. Most likely the answer is yes. Have empathy for yourself. Stay with that feeling while you are breathing deeply for couple of minutes.

After following the above steps, your body will feel more relaxed and will feel emotionally stronger as result of acknowledging your suppressed emotion.  Also the repressed emotion is now has less pull on you.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Share Your Smile!

by Shervin on September 10, 2017

The best things are the simplest ones. This includes how we interact with the world.

We think we have to donate thousands of dollars to a cause or buy an expensive gift in order to have a significant impact. That is not true. Such thoughts are sabotaging our efforts to do something significant daily.

Smiles are our biggest assets. We usually do not share our smiles freely with people except sometimes with little children.

I remember times when I have been sad or even depressed and a stranger smiled at me as he/she passed by. That simple act was very significant to me in that moment such that I still remember those simple acts, while I may not remember expensive present friends or family may have bought me in the past.

A smile is a form of unconditional love. It says no matter what you are going through, things will get better. It also says I see you and you are not alone.

Do an experiment.  Next time when you go to a grocery store intentionally smile at people!!! Many people may not even notice your smile or even turn their faces away. It will worth it when you smile at a stranger who needed it and he/she will remember your smile for a long time.

Share your love through a smile. It is simple and yet it is significant.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Life Is Not Fair!

by Shervin on August 27, 2017

For whatever reason at times life does not seem to be nice or fair to us. How do we deal with such unfairness?

As much as cliché that it may sound we have choices how to respond.

For example, if I lose my job. Even though the loss was not my choice, how I respond is my choice.

What are my choices?

– I can choose to be sad.
– I can choose to be bitter.
– I can choose to be scared.
– I can choose to blame.
– I can choose to give up on life.
– I can choose to take it easy for a while.
– I can choose to aggressively look for a job.
– I can choose to see it as a blessing in getting a more fulfilling job.
– And many other choices

Out of the above choices what choice would you make?

I do not think there is one choice that solves the issue. You may make many choices over time as appropriate.

No matter what you decide to choose, ask yourself the following questions:

– Will your choice today make you happy or content tomorrow?
– Is the choice the best you can do today?

No matter what you choose, if that is the best you can do today, you will feel happy and fulfilled today and even tomorrow.

Have faith that the best is still ahead of you, do not give up and do your best today.

Copyright @2017 by Shervin Hojat


Let Go and Be Free

by Shervin on August 13, 2017

We all have heard that to let go and be free.

Sometimes we let go when we are tired of holding on and we realize that holding on only is creating more suffering.

Letting go does not mean giving up hope. It means acknowledging our current pain and suffering does not help our situation and the situation is beyond our control.

Letting go sometimes means accepting the “worst case” scenario and doing our best effort based on what we can change. This does not mean to think of worst case. This means we let go of worry and fear of the worst case happening constantly and focusing what we actually can do (being present).

Before we let go, sometimes we may feel that something within us is dying. After all we do not like to let go of a person we love or an ideal we have desired for so long.

As we let go, all of sudden peace and ease overcome us. All the burdens, all the stress, all the controls and all the responsibilities of holding on to something that we have a minimum control is released. With letting go we are no longer hostage to our worst case fears.

Copyright @ 2017 by Shervin Hojat


Loving and connecting with yourself

by Shervin on July 30, 2017

What is one effective way to love and connect with yourself?

In my experience, it is acknowledgement of what we feel is the key. It is generally OK to share and express our happiness.  Therefore, I will focus on our repressed emotions which is not cool to share or acknowledge.

It is about acknowledging our loneliness, fear and pain that we are feeling. It is acknowledgement without judging, blaming, analyzing or trying fixing it.

Acknowledgement is like listening to a part of you that desperately, for many years, wants to be heard and noticed. It is the same acknowledgement we show to our best friend or our pet when they are hurting. We are to listen and be present for them.

How do we know what is repressed?

Be on lookout for repressed emotion by:

– Observing who triggers you and why?

– Observing the pain and tension in your body and going back to your thoughts prior to the pain

Be open to share your observation and feelings with a friend or a therapist or a good coach.

As you acknowledge old and repressed emotions, they will be released.  You may shed intense tears or release the emotions through heat in your body or many other ways. You may have never noticed or expressed or acknowledged the pain within before, be gentle and brave and let it come out.

After such a release, you will feel much lighter because a heavy emotional weight has been lifted. You also have connected with part of you that needed your attention. Finally, you know yourself by knowing your deepest and most sacred desires (your hurts point to them) and that is part of loving yourself.

Copyright @ 2017 by Shervin Hojat



How to Love Yourself More?

by Shervin on July 17, 2017

Why is that we may love and respect others more than ourselves? Why is it that we are kinder and gentler with others than ourselves?

Although typically we are harder on ourselves, this does not answer the above question.

Have you met someone who appears to be “perfect” and you do not like them because they do not come across real? Have you met someone who has many flaws and you connect with them because they come across real?

Why do you not treat yourself with love, respect and kindness?  Perhaps you see through your own facade that you are putting up to be liked or are pretending to be somebody that you are not. Perhaps you hide and ignore your feelings and vulnerabilities. Perhaps you do not like dishonesty and do not like to hide. Maybe you want to love the real you with all the beauty and flaws without fear and shame.

The big question is how to love and respect yourself more?

As you become honest with yourself regarding your feelings, be it anger, hurt, fear or love you will appreciate and respect yourself more for your honesty, vulnerability and courage.

As you find and acknowledge your true passions and things that you do not care about, you will acknowledge and love yourself more.

Finally, as you become comfortable in your imperfect body, and you do not choose to be anyone but yourself despite your flaws and shortcomings, you will be on path of loving  and respecting yourself more.

Copyright @ 2017 by Shervin Hojat


The Patient’s House-mates

by Shervin on July 3, 2017

The patient is living with her house-mates, in a secure, big, fancy yellow house.

The care-givers are mostly from Africa, kind, tough, passionate and greeting each other with hugs and kisses.

Danny, the cat, is keeping calm in the chaotic house as an under-cover healer.

The occupants, those who cannot walk, collectively sitting in a room watching sitcoms. Nobody is laughing.

Mornings are the best of times. After a good rest, breakfast, fresh drugs and everyone is dozing off.

Worst of times are around 4 PM. The ghost of fear and anxiety awakens everyone.

The house-mates all have their own unique reaction. Some fighting their reality, some creating their own, some have surrendered and some have already checked out, occasionally visiting their feeble bodies for food and medication.

There is the woman with a dark hair and piercing eyes whose mission is to close all the open doors all day long. Yet never seen at the dining table.

The fragile woman sitting crooked in her wheel chair, amazingly eating her food on her own like a little bird. When nobody is around, she is chewing on her tiny pillow (her back support) to keep nurtured.

Around 4 PM, the white-haired woman with puffy green eyes screaming loudly “Take me home. They are waiting for me”, can be heard in every corner of big yellow house. It takes 20 minutes to have medication kick in.

The patient, agitated by all the noise and screams. Saying, “Enough is enough. Don’t they understand how to be quiet?”. Calmed down only by smile and touches of her caregivers.

Nancy, soft spoken angel like face who sits quietly in her wheel chair for hours. Softly arguing, “I ate too much at breakfast, I cannot eat now”.

The younger guy who still is fighting the system, pacing back and forth from his dinner table to the phone on the wall next to the elevator. Pressing some buttons on the phone, but nobody is answering on the other end. Disappointed, he leaves the phone off the hook and walks back to table to have a bite of food and try calling again.

The old man, frozen like a tall statue, in a wheel chair, must be well-to-do, mostly with a private nurse. Following the orders: open your mouth, chew, stay here. Hearing the nurse complementing him, “you eat well.”

The scary big man, on a walker, screaming “Please pray. Pray for my sister, she is not well; they took her to hospital”. Perhaps he is referring to his house-mate who ambulance took earlier that morning. Not clear if she is his sister or not.

The caregivers, trying to be strong and patient. Repeating words like, “sit please”, “come here”, “do you want a cookie?”

The old man, telling his new visitor that he likes it here. Stating that he only stays here on weekdays. The new visitor grins as he looks away.

The old woman, smiling back at the stranger when he smiled at her. Thinking for a moment that perhaps she is not forgotten after all.

The patient hugging the smiling caregiver, putting her head over care-giver’s chest like a child who just found her lost mother, and does not want to let go of her mother. After a while, on separation, they look at each other and tell each other “I love you.”

The woman in a wheel chair, in her large private suite, with picture of many smiling family members on her door, using her legs to move around the corridors in her wheelchair. It does not seem she has found what she was looking for yet.

The patient, pointing at the younger caregiver in the hallway, saying with an accent “you are my daughter”. Care giver smiles and replies, “you are my mama.”

All the man and woman, once were powerful mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, brothers or sisters. Now they are in a different world and reality. No matter how scary it may seem, at least it is safest and most predicable part of their lives. The community, the occasional visitors with their latte, the regular cookies to calm nerves, occasional hugs and kisses, the  4 PM screams and the familiar blank faces.


Copyright @ 2017 by Shervin Hojat


Does it Really Matter?

by Shervin on June 18, 2017

You may be feeling overwhelmed and stuck. Your mind may be racing and you are not able to focus during the day or sleep at night.

How can you manage this challenging situation?

One needs to re-focus on the big picture.

List all the issues that are bothering you.

Assume that your life ends in six months.

Which of those issues are important if you had six months to live?

Which issues you need to pay more attention which you are not currently paying attention to?

Do you feel any different as the result of this exercise? Is your focus different now?

Sometimes when we are in our head and we are in state of fight or flight, we may feel like a victim and very confused and stuck.

Focusing on what is really important and things that still matter in six months or more are pointers to refining our focus and attention. By doing so, you may realize that other issues that were bothering you are now less severe, and perhaps you have no control over them.

Copyright @ 2017 by Shervin Hojat