Forgiveness: An Act of Self-love

by Shervin on October 25, 2020

Let go and become peaceful.

Letting go of certain events and behaviors are easy, but some are not.

We can easily let go of the behavior of a stranger than a friend or a family member.

Why? Because we have invested more time in such relationships. As a result, we have more expectations.

We may verbally express that we want to let go of disappointment and hurt, but such feelings do not leave us alone. Sometimes we even forget how to let go.

I had such an experience a few days ago. I felt angry, hurt and disappointed for several days.

I could not mediate and focus. When I woke in the middle of night, my mind reminded me of the hurt and disappointment. It was difficult to go back to sleep.

I was frustrated, exhausted and upset with myself. Why cannot I let this go?

Day later, at 5 AM, while I was struggling with my thoughts, something in me said, forgive!

The light came on for me!

What do I have to lose?  Can I be more miserable than now?

As soon as I decided to forgive, my relentless thoughts stopped. Emotional storms within me subsided dramatically and I felt calm. 

I had no need to tell other people that I have forgiven them. It was not about them. It was about me and my energy. 

By allowing myself to forgive others, I have allowed to forgive myself!  

I no longer had to carry the burden of hurt with me and relive it. I also no longer had a need to blame others or myself for the hurt.

Later, I felt light and I felt empathy for others who I felt who have hurt me.

I realized that others may hurt me without knowing or awareness. I also know I have hurt others as well.

I realized others may not forgive me right away. It is not under my control. But I could forgive myself and the situation. 

Think of all those nagging thoughts you may have in meditations, during the day or when you wake up in the middle of night. Will forgiveness of yourself and others release those gooey thoughts and associated suffering?

I have experienced that when we energetically forgive, others also forgive us much easier. It is an amazing dynamic.

Forgiveness is a bitter medicine that we may not want to take at first. It may take time. However, it is the right medicine for our soul, mind and body. It is one of the best ways of expressing care and self-love.

The beautiful truth is that our freedom from the past hurts ultimately does not depend on anything outside of us. We are in charge of our freedom and peace through forgiveness.

Some quotes regarding forgiveness:

  • Grace comes to forgive and then forgive again. ~Rumi
  • Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.¬† ~Buda
  • To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius
  • It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~Francis of Assisi


Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat 

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