Our Relationships

All of our joys and hurts are due to our relationships!

Why would anyone want to be in a hurtful relationship? It does not logically make sense.

Take an inventory of your hurtful relationships in the past (or at the present).

What were the common themes?

  • Were you able to express yourself freely?
  • Did you feel safe to be yourself?
  • Did you feel that you were respected and valued?
  • Did your vibration diminish with such interactions?

Why do we stay in such a relationship?

Fear of not surviving (economically, emotionally or physically), hunger for positive validation and familiarity are major factors that cause us to stay in toxic relationships.

Think about an abusive work situation. Think about a friend or spouse who talks down to you.

Do you have peace of mind and high vibration in such a situation? What is the reason for staying in such a relationship?

This situation is not exclusive to our friends or work.

There are deeper relationships that take away our joy and peace and we do not question them.

These deeper relationships are like old friends that we have known and have trusted for decades!

Take a look at your  relationship with beliefs that “you are a failure”, “you are not lovable”, “you are not good” or “you are this or that”.

These beliefs are like toxic friends who may call you any time of day and night and repeat their mantra.

After listening to them, you most likely will feel miserable, sad and angry.

You have accepted abuse of such old “friends” for decades. Why?

The other abusive relationships are with our additions.  Addiction becomes our companions who comfort us  at first and dim our lights gradually.

Some of such friends (addictions) who we believe we cannot live without are: food, drugs, hatred, need to control, self-pity, seeking approval, self-importance, drama, jealousy, gossip and blame.

We know their friendship is not good for us (for sure for others) but we allow them to sabotage our spiritual growth.

At the root of our abusive relationship is our relationship with our “ego”.

This is another old friend who can be very mean and we listen to its mis-guided advice constantly.

This friend was supposed to give us information without judgement. Now it expresses its opinions and demands to be in charge.

How does this ego friend ego talk and treat you?

If we are seeking peace of mind and joy, we need to examine ALL of our relationships that we cannot live without.

We then need to explore the space within our heart, free of the need for limiting/toxic relationships, to experience the truth of who we are.

Spiritual growth is a journey that requires being gentle with oneself and no self-judgement.

During your journey, be aware of friendly voices who will try to sabotage your progress.

Copyright @2020 by Shervin Hojat


About Shervin

Author, Teacher, Poet, Engineer
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