Being Selfish

Posted on July 20, 2015 by Shervin

Do not be selfish! This is maybe a great way for someone to get something from you and you allow that person to manipulate you. Most people do not like to be called “selfish”. Why not?

Analyze the word selfish.  If you are not supposed to be yourself who should you be like?  Why being yourself is so offensive to others? Why do you get offended to be yourself?

Some people define a selfish person as one looking only for positive feelings:

  • If you cannot tolerate somebody being sad and you help that person, is it a selfish or selfless act?
  • If you are angry at injustice and you spend your money to get even, is it selfish or selfless act?
  • If a person desires happiness is this a selfish act?
  • Is a religious person selfish or selfless for wanting to be closer to God?

Some people define selfish as one that only cares about his/her needs:

  • Is wanting material things in this life selfish and wanting rewards for hereafter not selfish?
  • Is a mother that tries to over protect her child selfish or selfless? (What is her motivation?)
  • Is a father that forces his children excel at sports selfish or selfless? (What is his motivation?)
  • Is wanting a nice house and better heath selfish? (Who decides?)

Some people define selfish as a person that ignores other people’s feelings and needs.

  • Is someone who is proud of his/her accomplishments a selfish person? It may offend other people’s feelings.
  • If someone who dresses nicely a selfish person? Other people may get offended.
  • If your accent offends other people. Are you selfish?
  • If your circle of friends offends other people are you being selfish?
  • If your political opinion offends other people are you selfish?

If you think you are not selfish then you are most likely in denial! List five great “unselfish” acts that you have done and directly or indirectly you have not benefited from it.

“Selfish” or “selfless” person is judged by society. Many “selfish” or “selfless” acts depend on intention and not how it is perceived by people. Most people cannot know our true intention for a “selfless” act.

If I give away money many people may see it as selfless act. But is it in really? What if my intention is to get attention and appreciation?

When a mother gives her son for adoption is it a selfish act? What if she loves her son enough that she wants him to have a better life?

If a mother that keeps her son (instead of giving him for adoption) while knowing that she is not able to take care of him well a selfless person?

We are all selfish! The question is what motivates us to be selfish.  What is driving our selfishness? Is it fear, arrogance, anger, insecurity, greed, or love, self-worth, trust or compassion?

It seems that if we are selfish and we are aligned with love, self-worth, honesty, truth and compassion then our soul will grow and people will benefit from our selfishness. Otherwise, people may benefit from our selfish act and even adore us and yet we never have the true joy and satisfaction within.

Copyright @2015 by Shervin Hojat

 

 

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Three Steps to Energize Your Life

Posted on June 21, 2015 by Shervin

Do you feel you have low energy?  Is it hard to get motivated and be focused?

Besides eating well and exercising, there are at least three steps you can take by yourself without spending any money to re-energize yourself and your life.

  • Be more present:  How much of your time do you spend focusing on the past? How much of your time do you spent worrying about the future? Stop it! Just let past and worry of future go away for five minutes.  Can you get out of your head? Can you stop analyzing things? Can you just sit quiet and follow your breath? Listen to your body! Try it. Experience it.
  • Accept yourself: You are meant to be you! Why do you spend so much energy to be somebody else and deny and ignore your own needs? Accept your own good and bad.  Do not pretend to be somebody that you are not! Repeat with me: Nobody is perfect and I love who I am! Repeating this by itself may bring you peace of mind and less tension within.
  • Trust:  If you have the belief, supported by your own experiences, that the Universe is friendly then by often reminding yourself of that fact you can experience a more joyful life. Admit it, you cannot do everything by yourself. The Universe, like the sun, does not discriminate or make judgments; its rules and blessings are applied to everyone and everything. Mind your own business (change what you can) and allow the Universe to do his/her job. Have faith and trust that best is happening for you. Take action toward your goals without worrying and obsessive urge to control every event.

These steps are part of a process that we need to practice daily to eventually integrate within us. Please share your experiences in this regard.

Copyright @2015 by Shervin Hojat

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What is the Benefit of Your Bad Habit?

Posted on March 29, 2015 by Shervin

How do your bad habits serve you?

Please do not promptly say “they do not!” Dig in a bit deeper. We need to accept we are doing our best that we can based on our belief system. In a sense we are perfect in this moment!

I regularly attend Toastmasters. In one of the meetings I played the role of table topic master asking the audience questions and expected answers on the spot. I asked a young lady that seemed very fit how one of her bad habits were serving her? After couple of seconds of thinking she said she thinks about food a lot and eats too much food! She then said this bad habit is helping her to socialize with many people by going out. That was a surprising answer.

We need to understand what our bad habits provide to us. We then can change our belief about how we can get what we want without hanging on bad habits. Let us assume we eat lots of food to socialize with people, feel loved and accepted. Perhaps we have beliefs such as: “using food is the only way I can be accepted” “Talking about food is the only way to have friends”. If we now change our underlying belief to “people enjoy my presence” “I am loved for who I am” then we no longer need to cling to our old habits to sustain our belief system.

How do habits such as worry, long hours of work, being negative and giving up easily serve you?

Copyright @2015 by Shervin Hojat

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How Do You Numb Yourself?

Posted on March 15, 2015 by Shervin

We all avoid pain. Most of us seek peace and calmness at any expense. If we believe the root of our pain cannot be fixed or it is too much trouble, then we numb ourselves. We may expend lots of energy to distract ourselves, yet be numb, and not deal with sources of our pain. We may happily numb ourselves to protect ourselves from a seemingly hopeless or difficult situation.

In the coaching process I look at all aspects of an individual’s life. Aspects like career, family, spirituality, money, health and romance are like a wheel that need to be balanced to create a fulfilling life. For many, this wheel of life is imbalanced. One may be the most spiritual person and have no relationship with money or career. One may be the most successful person and feel lonely inside. One may have lots of money and no intimacy with self or others.

How do we balance the wheel of life? We need to be honest and look at our pain points and resistances and understand how we are trying to avoid dealing with them. It does not matter who we are, we are avoiding something in our lives. We just need to be conscious, honest and be willing to challenge our numbing mechanism. At first this may be very threatening to parts of us; it is normal. We are numbing ourselves to protect ourselves and our subconscious truly believes it is life and death situation.  Close relationships and intimacy are challenges to many. Many people numb themselves to avoid feeling the pain of rejection, loneliness and hurt. How do you numb yourself to avoid getting hurt by intimacy? Are you aware of your avoidances?

Do you escape by working long hours? Do you escape by constant spiritual activities? Do you escape by being heavily involved in sports or hobbies? Do you escape by being dedicated to a noble duty or cause?

 

Escape From intimacy

I escape you by doing noble duties

I escape you by working long hours

I escape you by taking care of the kids

I escape you by being busy in spiritual activities

I escape you by being busy helping others

I escape you by constantly doing the chores in the house

I escape you by hiding in groups

I escape you by having a fight with you

I escape you by taking care of my family

I escape you by being with friends

I escape you by making myself sick

I escape you by blaming you

I escape you to escape myself

Copyright @2015 by Shervin Hojat

 

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Dark Night Of the Soul

Posted on March 2, 2015 by Shervin

In the dark night of our soul we are attracted to people who are sources of strength and safety for us. Everyone most likely will tap into an individual or an entity to get strength.

When we are happy and content we may not tap into the same source that we would when we are in distress. When we are in distress, we have a great opportunity to be challenged with our beliefs and grow as a result.

Since we are genetically from our parents, much of the chaos within may be as a result of not resolving issues with our parents. Our parents also can be a great source of inspiration and help if we tap into their energy. For some, the ultimate parent is our creator.

Father I Need You

Father come to my side

Father give me courage

Father give me strength

Father remove the burdens from me

Father support me in my journey

Father acknowledge me in my desire to become myself

Father help me to free myself from my family and ancestral tangles

Father put firmness in my steps and actions

Father help me to set myself free

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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I Will Not Abandon You!

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Shervin

Do you sometimes feel your energy is sucked out of you? Is it sometimes hard to move forward?

Perhaps you are not taking care of yourself. Maybe you need more sleep, water or better food. It is also very likely that you are ignoring the voices of your inner child and not listening or acknowledging him/her.

The main driver for ignoring our inner child is fear. Our mind creates many scenarios why we need to ignore and abandon that voice within to protect us. Remember that your inner child just needs some acknowledgement.  When you acknowledge him/her you may feel very emotional. Listen to him/her with patience and with no judgment.  Take small steps to show you care. Acknowledge your inner child through any forms of self-expression. Experience this process with your inner child. It is a sacred and fulfilling experience.

 

Listening to You

I hear you my child

I feel my love for you

You are afraid that I will abandon you again

You are asking me to listen to you

You are asking me to acknowledge your needs

You are asking me not to judge your needs

You are asking me to be sensitive to your needs

You are asking me to be committed to both of us

I am here for you

I am sorry for ignoring you

I will not abandon you again

Copyright @2015 by Shervin Hojat

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Joy & Sorrow

Posted on February 1, 2015 by Shervin

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~ Khalil Gibran

Joy and sorrow are from the same fabric. They have same energy. One contracts us and one lifts us up. Sources of your joy are also sources of your sorrow if you are attached to them and want them to last forever.

If you want to live fully, be prepared for both energies and ride their up and down waves without any attachments on how long they should or should not last. If you are currently feeling sorrow, know that you have found a source of your joy hidden in your sorrow.

Sorrow & Joy

If food is a source of your joy, it is also potentially a source of your sorrow.

If being yourself is a source sorrow, it is also potentially a source of your joy.

If your relationship is a source of joy, it is also potentially a source of your sorrow.

If your thoughts are a source of your sorrow, they are also potentially a source of your joy.

If your children are a source of your joy, they are also potentially a source of your sorrow.

If your family is a source of your sorrow, they are also potentially a source of your joy.

If your job is a source of your joy, it is also potentially a source of your sorrow.

If your creativity is a source of your sorrow, it is also potentially a source of your joy.

If your freedom is a source of joy, it is also potentially a source of your sorrow.

If your wealth is a source of your sorrow, it is also potentially a source of your joy.

If your health is a source of your joy, it is also potentially a source of your sorrow.

If your pet is a source of your sorrow, it is also potentially a source of your joy.

If your attitude is a source of your joy, it is also potentially a source of your sorrow.

Ride the waves of joy and sorrow with no attachment or guarantee to last!

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Taking Responsibility

Posted on January 19, 2015 by Shervin

Are you really pissed off at somebody and cannot let it go? Do you keep running into people who let you down, irritate you and are not caring? Do you want this to change?

The good news is that your situation can change for the better. The bad news is that is not by changing other people or blaming them. Usually people show up in our lives and irritate us to show something about us that needs our attention. Consider such situations as you are looking into a mirror: the other person that is irritating you is telling you something about you!

I know some things may be very difficult to acknowledge and own. Start with small things and be curious and ask yourself why they have shown up in your life.

 

Mirror of You and Me

I created my own reality.

I created my own hell.

I take responsibility for what I have created.

I see contradictions clearly in the mirror of you and me.

I let myself down and I blamed you for it.

I expected you to love me unconditionally while I did not love myself unconditionally.

I was not emotionally open while I expected you to be emotionally open.

I expected nice complements from you while I did not complement myself.

I expected you to be honest while I was not honest about my own needs.

I expected you to be positive while I was not positive myself.

I did not like the reflection of me in the mirror and I tried to change the reflection (you).

I expected validation from you while I did not validate myself.

I expected your empathy for my emotions while I did not express empathy for my own emotions.

I did not feel good about myself and I expected you to feel good about me.

I expected you to be responsible for my emotions while I did not take responsibility for my own.

I expected you to love me for who I am while I did not love myself for who I am.

I wanted to be right about my beliefs while I expected you to be flexible about yours.

I was upset with your criticism while I constantly criticized myself with self-talk.

I gave my power away and I was upset that you control me.

I expected encouragement from you while I did not encourage myself.

I feared vulnerability of love so I attracted you with the same fear.

I was upset at you while in reality I was upset at myself.

I could not forgive you because I could not forgive myself.

I take responsibility for my reality
so that I can change what I have created.

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

 

 

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Facing Our Fear

Posted on January 5, 2015 by Shervin

Does growth and self-realization require that we transcend our life’s conditioning and fears?  We naturally do not want to deal with seeming unpleasant feelings such as fear of abandonment and emptiness. Yet, somehow, we face our fears and insecurities, willingly or unwillingly, throughout our lives.

My experience is that events (call it unlucky, subconscious, etc.) create situations such that our attachments to what defines us are cut or severely threatened. These events give us an opportunity to make the transition past our fears and insecurities easier. For many people, difficult situations in their lives have made them more aware and stronger as an individual. How about you?

If you are dealing with a challenging situation, do not consider it as a terrible event. Look for the opportunities that may arise which may take you toward what you deeply desire. For example, the loss of an unfulfilling job can be a difficult event and yet it may direct you to focus on what you really desire. After all, the Universe is conspiring to give you what you want.  What are the opportunities ahead of you as a result of your current challenge?

Welcome Home

Get naked with yourself

Let go of protective clothing and masks

See yourself without the masks and the shields

Face the truth!

Not the truth of what you think

The truth of what is

Be prepared to allow your old self to die!

Be prepared to erase the memories of your past identities

Face your biggest fears

Eye to eye

Nose to nose

Shoulder to shoulder

Stay with it

Do not blink!

Fear suddenly dissolves

It vacates its spot in your psyche

You will feel its emptiness

You have lost an old companion!

Know that there is a great prize awaiting you

You can feel and smell it

Tremble in emptiness and nothingness for a while

Stay with it

Do not look back

You are almost at the gates of the open door

You are becoming excited

You are overcoming the fear of nothingness

You have not disappeared

You are still here!

The empty spot of fear is now filled with God’s love

You now remember

You are becoming alive!

Welcome home

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

 

 

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The Trouble With I Don’t Know!

Posted on December 22, 2014 by Shervin

I have misplaced my car keys many times. You most likely have done the same. I have realized when I say “I do not know where my keys are” almost all the times, someone else has to help me to find them or it takes me a long time to locate my car keys. However, if I just simply say, “I wonder where my keys are?” within seconds my attention goes to the location of my car keys. Have you ever wondered why?

“I do not know” is a phrase many of us use often. What message are you conveying to yourself and others? If you are a guru, perhaps it is a sign of humility. For 99% of us it is most likely a self-sabotage expression.

Let’s look at how our subconscious works. Our subconscious takes our words literally. When you say I do not know, this is what it really dictates to your subconscious: “I do not want to know; I cannot know; stop searching for an answer; somebody else has to help me”.  Take your subconscious seriously. After all who drives you home safely when you are pre-occupied in your car and all of sudden you are home? There is lots of wisdom and intelligence available to you through your subconscious.

When we change our mental and emotional attitude by simply changing our words from unconscious (I do not know) to curiosity (I wonder, where is …) we all of sudden allow ourselves to receive information that already is available/known to us.

Do not believe what I am telling you as a fact. Experiment with it and internalize its truth. Replace “I do not know” with “I wonder”. Be a curious being and the answer is within your reach.

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

 

 

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Idiot! You Did it Again.

Posted on December 8, 2014 by Shervin

As technology advances, we may be able to increase our self-awareness. Let me explain. Imagine in a decade scientist can download our self-talk to appliance like GPS in our car or our phone. Can you imagine what it might be like replacing the voice of a polite woman with a British accent with your voice and self-talk? How long will you keep the GPS on?

CAR GPS

Imagine your psyche takes over your car’s GPS

What will a trip be like using your car’s GPS?

“What? You missed another turn again!”

“This is the fourth time in six months!”

“What is wrong with you?”

“What a loser!”

“Your dad was right about you!”

“Look at all the drivers who are not missing their turns.”

“You will never learn.”

“Your brother was right.”

“Can you follow an instruction for a minute?”

“Next time catch a bus, if you can find a bus stop, idiot!”

Would you allow a GPS to talk to you like this for missing a turn?

I hope not!

Why do you accept this kind of talk to yourself daily?

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Why You Want a Long Life?

Posted on November 24, 2014 by Shervin

I have met young people who do not seem to care how long they may live.  I have met older people who are enthusiastic about life, even in their wheel chairs.  I know people whose total focus in their life is to prolong their life by eating nutritious food while their life passes them by.  I know people who have a very unhappy life and choose to prolong that lifestyle.

Do you want to live a long time?  Your answer can indicate how you look at your life.  Maybe you believe your old age will be sad and lonely. Maybe you have people who depend on you.  Maybe you have an image of happily ever after your retirement.  Maybe you feel you will have a thriving life.  Maybe the fear of death drives your desire to live a long time.  Maybe you do not like to think about death or the concept of dying.

What is your motivation to want a long life?

Longevity

There are many people who desire to have a long life.

There are many people that would like to live a long life
but they do not like the aging process.

You may know people who are living unhappy lives
and they still want to live a long time.

You also may know people who believe they will go to heaven
and they still want to live a long life.

What are some factors that may drive people to desire a long life?

Perhaps it is the sense of survival in all of us.

Perhaps we are afraid of dying.

Perhaps we are hoping that later on we will become comfortable
with the idea of dying.

Perhaps we are afraid that there will not be an after life
despite what we profess verbally.

Perhaps we are afraid of the responsibilities of the after life
and afraid we may fail at it.

Perhaps we just want to grow to become
multi-dimensional and multi-emotional human beings.

What are the reasons that you may want a long life?

Is the reason based of a fear of the unknown
or potential joy and growth that living brings you?

Copyright @ 2010 by Shervin Hojat

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Being Authentic

Posted on October 26, 2014 by Shervin

What does it mean to be authentic?

Some says it is about being yourself. Some say it is doing what makes you smile. Some say it is living your own life.  Some say it is focusing on the goodness in you. Some say it is expressing what you experience in the moment.

If authenticity is so good why are more people not authentic?

Authenticity is about honesty and the courage to express how/what we feel and long for. What is stopping us from this? Consider a toddler. Is he/she authentic? Does he/she express her feelings and wants? What happen later in life that make the toddler suppress his/her feelings and wants?

It is about the fear of being ourselves!  Fear of being in our own power! Fear of being not good enough, rejection, abandonment, judgment, ridicule, vulnerability and the unknown are some basic fears which can become resistances to experiencing our true self.

To be authentic we need to accept ourselves. We need to accept the positive and the negative in us. We need to experience ourselves as we are, not as we should be. We need to feel all of our emotions without judging them.  We need to accept where we are in our spiritual journey right now.

When we are authentic, being who we are, we are calm, peaceful, vulnerable and full of joy. A cat cannot bark very well trying to act like a puppy, but he can meow with ease. The same applies to us, if we try to act like someone else, it will be awkward, stressful and never fulfilling.

How do you know how authentic you are? You can get an idea by finding how you talk to yourself about how you “should” be. Where did all the “shoulds” come from? What if we gradually kill our soul by ignoring our authentic self? What will happen if we never allow ourselves to express what we need? What will happen if we ignore our soul’s desire(s)?

If you are feeling sad, and in response to “Do you feel sad?” you say I am fine; you are not being authentic. What you say and what you feel at that moment are not congruent.  Perhaps you can say, I feel sad because my friend is experiencing lots of pain and I care about her.

If you are afraid of your boss and talk behind his back to all your co-workers, and you do not express what you feel to your boss, you are not being authentic. Either accept the situation or learn how to effectively verbalize your fear and then have a friendly and honest conversation with your boss and deal with the consequences.

If you are feeling a certain emotion, love or anger, and you do not verbalize it in a constructive way you are not authentic. Being vulnerable is part of being authentic. Perhaps if you are angry, you can tell that person that you are feeling anger because you did not expect such a behavior from him. You become vulnerable and express how you feel in a constructive manner.

It is rather easy to be an advocate for others, yet it is very difficult to be an advocate for ourselves and express how we feel or what we need. It is also easier to accept the shadows of others rather than our own. Being authentic is being comfortable in our own skin, being receptive to what we feel without worry of judgment from others.

Becoming an authentic person may take a life time. You can take small steps every day or week to become more authentic than before. Do you feel a need to express more of what you feel? Do you need to accept that being sad or angry is ok? Do you need to put more focus on your truth rather than trying to please others to keep the peace?  Do you need to pursue a project that you always wanted to do but you were afraid it will not turn out well? What are some other ways you can be more authentic? Let me know.

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

 

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Loyalty

Posted on October 12, 2014 by Shervin

Who are your masters? How many invisible leashes (cords) do you have?

Each invisible leash is representative of our priorities and loyalties. Loyalties are great as long as we choose them consciously and are aware of their impact on us. If you have more than one master, those masters may not agree with each other and will take you in many directions, resulting in unhappiness and confusion.

We adopt all kind of leashes, typically in the form of belief systems, which in most cases may not be beneficial to us as an adult, since we chose them at an early age when we were not fully emotionally developed. These leashes are like a leak in a balloon that takes us away from the direction of self-acceptance and self-love, which are the foundation of accepting and loving others.

Can you name the leashes that may be attached to you?

Loyalty

Where is your loyalty?

Who are you loyal to?

Have you deeply pondered this?

You may be loyal to family, community, work, church, country, ethnic group or a certain ideology.

Are you loyal to your highest good?

Do you act based out of self-love?

Are you loyal to your health, spirituality, truth and your “Self”?

What do you do when your basic loyalties conflict with your other loyalties?

Where do you draw the line?

What criteria do you use? Love or fear?

Do you recognize the situation or do you get confused?

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Scare City

Posted on September 1, 2014 by Shervin

What would it be like if you had a recorder and would have recorded all the thoughts you had about your life for day or two? Would you want to play those recordings to a child? To a plant? To your pet?

For the majority of us I hope the answer is no! Do we realize what we put in our subconscious? Do you ever wonder why we become depressed and nothing is enjoyable? Where is your focus on? It is surprising what we repeat and say to ourselves knowing the impact on quality of our lives.

Scare City

There is scarcity everywhere!

When you wake up is there.

I did not get enough sleep.

I do not have time to meditate.

I do not have time to eat well.

I do not have time to give a hug.

I do not have time to notice the birds on the way to work.

When at work the same there!

There are not enough resources.

There is not enough time to do it right.

There are not enough hours in the day!

When you go home the same is there!

There is not enough time to relax.

There is not enough love in the house.

There is not enough time to exercise.

There is not enough time to take a deep breath.

What are you doing to thrive in the scare city?

Gratitude! Gratitude!

Yes you know it. Internalize it!

Leave the scarcity!

Express gratitude when you wake up.

Express gratitude when at work.

Express gratitude when at home again.

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Our Choices

Posted on August 3, 2014 by Shervin

Do you believe in astrology? Numerology? I do! Why? I have seen some information about me that has been very accurate. Does it mean that we are predestined for fixed events and do not have free will?

We all have free will. Perhaps we have signed up to experience certain things (being not wanted, ridiculed, emotional abuse, etc.) and experience events in our family and society. It is plausible that our birthdate or name creates some energy to support what we are supposed to experience.

Even the luckiest people, people who win the lottery, have to make choices. Their choices decide if they will continue to be lucky or not. How many stories have you heard about lucky lottery winners who did not end up with good endings? What they did with their initial luck was based on their consequent choices.

You probably have heard stories about “unlucky” people who turned their situations into lucky situations. This had to be about free will, attitude and their choices. Many unlucky people have stayed unlucky because the initial unlucky event defeated them, and they believed that they had no choice!

The truth is that, today when you get up, no matter how rich or poor you are you can make a choice to be happy or sad, grateful or ungrateful, productive or unproductive. What have you decided today?
Why?

 

Choices

You are on the Universal grid.

Every thought and action matters!

You have infinite opportunities.
They are yours to choose!

Where you are today is based on past actions and behaviors
some even from your ancestors!

How you impact the grid today is up to you.

You can exercise to get in shape.

You can tell someone “I love you” and change their life.

You can share your life story with a friend or many friends.

You can smile, laugh or cry.

You can be hopeful or hopeless.

Every action and thought moves you into a different grid from where you are.

This movement continues until you die!

No more opportunities after that!

What remains are what stories you have left behind.

Did the events in your life define you or
did you make courageous and loving choices despite them?

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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End Of Curiosity

Posted on July 22, 2014 by Shervin

When was the last time you were curious about your spouse, partner or friend? What makes one curious? If you think you know about something or someone, will you still be curious? If you know something will not change, will you be curious about that thing?

We lose our curiosity about ourselves, friends, spouse, and family when we think we “know” about them and believe they are not going to change. You will not look at a picture frame with curiosity because you know it will not change. You may be curious about your brand new car, every hour, to make sure nothing bad has happened to it (expect change)!

The fact is that we all change every day, even all our cells biologically change every couple of weeks. When was the last time you listened to your friend with awe and curiosity to find out what has changed in her or him? If you are not curious, you would not want to listen to a person since you have heard him/her before and you know what to expect!

If you are not curious you will not learn! Be it about yourself, spouse, friend, children, nature or God. What are you curious about in your daily life?

 

End of Curiosity

How often are you curious about your furniture or your picture frame in your living room?

Not often?

Why not?

You do not expect them to change and they may not matter to you anyway.

How often do you listen to a person you “know”?

You probably don’t!

If you “know” them then there is nothing new to learn about them.

Knowing is the end of your curiosity!

How often do you look into your spouse’s eyes?

How often do you listen carefully to a conversation?

How often do you look into a mirror with curiosity?

Curiosity ends when we assume.
Curiosity ends when we take people for granted.
Curiosity ends when we think we “know”.

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Reflections

Posted on July 6, 2014 by Shervin

Many important things like the Creator, love, kindness and compassion cannot be seen by our eyes. They all can be seen and experienced through their reflections.  We even cannot see ourselves and can only see our reflection!

How many of the things that you see and experience are only reflections?

 

Reflections

Many important things cannot be seen!

They are recognized through their reflections and foot prints!

Can the Creator be seen?

One can see his/her creations only as a reflection of him.

Can the love of a mother be seen?

It can be seen through what she does for the child.

Can the love of two people be seen?

It can be seen through their eyes and body language.

Can Divine help be seen?

It can be seen through people who help us.

How many of the things that you see are just pure reflections?

What are reflections of your love for yourself and others?

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Truth?

Posted on June 22, 2014 by Shervin

What we verbally state can be our consciousness that is speaking. What we do as a habit or reaction is more of a reflection of our unconscious self. We may label people as double faced, saying one thing and doing another. In reality, their subconscious most likely has the upper hand if their verbal expression is honest.

Much internal pain and suffering arises when our emotional beliefs and what we verbalize or hear do not match. Most of our personal beliefs will unconsciously drive our actions.  What are the things that matter the most to you? What are your beliefs about them? What is your personal belief about truth?

Truth

Do you think that truth needs to be told?

Your reactive response may be yes!

Do you really believe it at emotional level and deeply?

Do you tell the truth to everyone and all the time?

You may decide to hide the truth because it may “hurt” others or think it may not make a difference.

How many times you have said you are fine while in reality you are not?

Where do you draw the line?

How do you feel if people hide the truth from you for your own protection, security and your “own” good?

What if part of you hides the truth from yourself for your “own” protection?

What is your truth?

Who and what is being protected?

Is truth really your ultimate desire?

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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Daring to be Yourself!

Posted on May 25, 2014 by Shervin

Are you yourself? What happens if you decide to change and become your true self who feels free of “I should” and “I must” and thus is happier?

Becoming who you really are, expressing your heart’s desire and standing out in a crowd is an on-going challenge for most of us. The challenge is that we have had many years of fighting for our true self, as a child and teen-ager, and for the most part we have concluded that it is not worth the pain and suffering to continue the fight. At an early age, if you were acting different than others, you may have been corrected by family and friends to meet their standards/beliefs.

As an adult, it is difficult to change our “identity” because we need to be ok with re-experiencing what we encountered as a child. To change, we should be ok with criticism, disapproval, uncertainty, and being vulnerable how family and friends may treat us. The good news is if we decide to become more of our true self, there are always people who will support and encourage us. The old friends may all disappear and new friends may show up. The Universe will always provide us support in the direction of our soul evolution, we just need to be open in receiving and trusting the process.

 

Dare to be You!

If you are yourself
you are a rebel!

Rebels are to be crushed and denied!

Young rebels are to be molded!

It starts early as a child.

You cannot experience your true self!

You cannot go outside and hear the birds!
“not now” my dear.

You cannot laugh and play!
It is not the time for it.

You cannot play in the mud!
You get too dirty.

You cannot wear clothing you like to wear.
You embarrass us.

You cannot eat your lunch when hungry.
It is not time for it.

You are not allowed to lay in bed.
It is not bed time.

You are not allowed laugh out loud.
You may disturb others.

You are not allowed to be curious.
You may break things.

You are not to tell the truth!
You may offend others.

You are not to study what you love.
You will not make enough money.

You are not allowed to pay attention to singing birds.
It is time to study.

You are not allowed to be you!
You need to be “proper”
The reserved you,
The predictable you
The manageable you.

Copyright @2014 by Shervin Hojat

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