Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

What are the sources of your joy? Your agitation? Are they small or large in size?

Small joys in life accumulate together to make one’s life alive and thriving.  We sometimes ignore small sources of joy and turn our attention to small frustrations and make them big deal.   Many times we do not feel and express our joy until a big task is accomplished (graduating, retiring, and getting married).  We also may become agitated with small things, that in the big picture are very trivial (careless drivers, burned toast, etc).

Pay attention to how easily we allow agitation into our life and how rigidly we allow receiving small joys in our life.  Question your beliefs about receiving and self worth.

Size Matters

Do you believe that size does not matter?

If you believe that it does not matter
think again!

What are the biggest sources of agitation and joy in your life?

Are they small or large in size?

A small pebble may agitate you to no end.

A small and sweet thank-you may change your mood.

A loud noise may not agitate you
as much as a cricket may.

A small amount of excitement from your pet
may bring you joy.

A back ache may not agitate you as much as
an itch on your back that you cannot reach to scratch.

A large cut may not be as painful as a tiny paper cut.

What are your sources of agitation?
Small or large things?

What are the sources of your joy?
Large or small things?

How much energy do you invest in them?

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat

At one of our NOG meetings (Nourishing Our Gifts), I met Carolyn.  I was amazed that she had taken it upon herself to greet prisoners when they were released from the prison in Huntsville, Texas.  She would meet them at the bus terminal where many of them had no one to meet them while they were trying to get back “home”.

Carolyn indicated that at their release from prison, the prisoners received a little red bag to put their belongings in.  Everyone in town who saw the red bag knew that the person was just released from prison.  The red bag was a two edged sword.  Criminals knew the person who carried it had money.  Police and towns folk knew the carrier of the bag could be trouble.  For Carolyn, the red bag was not something that positively helped the newly released prisoners in their first experience of freedom after fulfilling their personal debt to society.

Carolyn made it a personal campaign to replace the red little bag with backpacks that did not attract attention.  She succeeded in doing so and earned many sincere thanks from the newly released about to re-enter society.

This story was very touching.  How thoughtful of Carolyn to help prisoners have a better chance of creating a new life for themselves and not attract negativity.  The little red bag was a symbol of being disadvantaged at the get go, no matter how well intentioned the prison’s leaders were.

One meaning of prison is “place of confinement”.  Can the confinement be just physical?  Of course not!!  Our biggest source of confinement is our mind.  What little red bag do we carry?  In what way do we keep ourselves at a disadvantage from the get go in our spiritual journey?

Little Red Bag

Have you heard the story of the man
just released from confinement?

Confinement that may be
physical, emotional or mental.

He was given a red little bag to carry his belongings.

The little red bag was an attractor.

It attracted everyone and everything, good and evil.

The little red bag conveyed a message by the one carrying it.

I have broken society’s law or my own divine law.
I have made mistakes.
I am not perfect.
I have been judged and have paid my dues.

People seeing the red bag would interpret it as:
Let us take away his resources.
He is trouble.
Let us put him back in his confinement.

What little red bag do you carry with you
verbally, emotionally or spiritually?

Will you allow yourself to reinvent yourself with a new vision
or do you choose to stay in the past, reliving the old stories and their patterns?

How do you judge other people carrying their little red bags?

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat

Have you ever thought that you needed “something” to be happy, productive, or liked and then realized that was not true?

Advertisements love to define what happiness means for us by constantly re-enforcing images of happy people who “have” new gadgets and “take” new medications.  We consistently allow such programming at our subconscious level if we watch TV, listen to radio or read.

Think of the words “happy”, “successful”, “fulfilled” and “healthy”.  What images come to you?  What do you need to buy or have?  We accept a trade off of our time to have what we think we “need”.  Do you think that our “needs” will ever be met with constant affirmations by advertisements (image and words)?

Our Necessities

What do you need to be a soulful human being?

What does it take to be a calm and centered human being?

Do you need a roof over your head? How fancy should it be?

Do you need a good job? What job makes you happy?

Do you need a car to get around? How fancy or fuel efficient should it be?

Do you need good meals? How good? What kind?

Do you need a good laptop and a phone to feel connected?

How many friends do you need?

What are the absolute necessities in your life?

Don’t you already have them?

Why have our lives so called “necessities” increased so much lately?

Are we proportionally happier, calmer or closer to each other?

Why are there so many more “necessities” these days?

Who creates them?

For what purpose?

 Are we more or less human
than decades ago
as the result of our new necessities?

Are we slaves to our new “necessities”?

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat

At one of my Toastmaster’s meetings, a person presented a speech on how to hypnotize a lobster so that when you put it in boiling water it will not scream.  He indicated that a similar technique can also be applied to crabs.  You soothe the crustaceans by gently stroking, beginning about two inches behind their nose down to their back, and then reverse the direction!  Although I do not eat the creatures, my heart felt for their painful demise.

I wondered then about our own soft spots and what hypnotizes us as human beings so that others are able take advantage of our spiritual, mental, financial or other resources without us being aware of it.

Think about situations, words and emotions that hypnotize you and might allow you to let your spiritual, mental and financial guard down.  You may not know the hypnotic technique that is being “applied” to you, but you probably can identify it for others.  You may know a friend who may fall for nice talk, fancy gifts, drugs or excessive entertainment, to name just few hypnotic methods

Soft Spots

What are your soft spots?

How do you allow someone to hypnotize you
to rob you of your spiritual, mental and financial resources?

Perhaps it is not as easy as hypnotizing a lobster
by stroking him from his nose down to his back
to be calm when put in a pot of boiling water.

What distractions do you give in to
so that you are numb
to feeling your spiritual demise (boiling water)?

Is it too much activity outside and not much introspection
that numbs you?

Is it all sorts of legal or illegal drugs
that numb you?

Is it some form of superiority or inferiority
that numbs you?

Is there a certain mantra that numbs you?

Is it some form of mind-less and reactive following
that numbs you?

Learn from the story of the lobster!

What is hypnotizing you
mentally, financially and spiritually?

Recognize your hypnotic trance before it is too late!

Don’t be hypnotized by the boiling water in your life

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat

Do you feel something is missing within you? Do you long for something inside you?

We all long for what makes us whole and complete.  Sometime we lose a piece of our soul at an early age to trauma and/or abuse in order to survive.  Sometime we sell a piece of our soul, contrary to our core belief and ethics, for a quick fix of power, money or comfort.

It is very important to be aware of the consequences of our trade offs.  The only thing that remains for us after death is our soul.  It is our soul that we need to treasure, and we must not compromise the integrity of our soul.

For Sale

Look around.
For sale signs are everywhere.

Take a look at the faces of the sellers.

Grim, dull eyes, tired and spiritless.

You can see and feel a void within them.

You ask them how they came by the void within.

You will hear many replies.

I sold a piece of my soul to feel safe.

I sold a piece of my soul to survive.

I sold a piece of my soul for a large sum of money.

I sold a piece of my soul to be powerful.

I sold a piece of my soul to stay in a relationship.

I sold a piece of my soul to keep my pride.

I sold a piece of my soul to keep peace in my family.

I sold a piece of my soul to get approval and love.

I sold a piece of my soul to feed my ego.

Now gain back your  long lost soul.

Let go of what really does not matter.
Cherish what truly matters.

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat

Look back on those experiences that have helped you transform, grow and know yourself better.  Did you enjoy and have fun while experiencing that which helped you transform and grow?  Were you certain of how things would turn out?  Was it a day time journey or a journey in the dark of night?

Many people who seek enlightenment avoid dealing with darkness and focus on talking about the light.  Dealing with darkness does not mean seeking out negativity and being fascinated with evil.  It means paying attention to our subconscious patterns and those secrets we hide from ourselves – those we do not want to think or feel about.

In the darkness, we can tap into our subconscious and can find gifts.  For some, darkness may mean feeling fear, joy, sorrow, and anger fully without judgment or avoidance.  For some, darkness may mean letting go of controlling events in our life or our children’s lives.

Travel in Darkness

Running from the darkness.

Running from the unpredictable.

Running towards the predictable, tame and mundane.

Let the darkness and unknown consume you.

Let the darkness and the unknown light you like a fire.

Let the darkness bring up your essence.

How would you know the content of your essence
if you don’t take your journey into the darkness?

How would you discover the intensity of your inner light
if you do not use it for traveling in the darkness?

How would you find hidden treasures
if you do not dive into the dark ocean?

Do not be afraid!

Your light will never extinguish.

Your light is brighter than the darkness.

Transform in the darkness.

Grow in the light.

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat

Do you remember your early childhood when you were curious, laughed with ease and experienced lots of joy?

For most of us as children, to survive we modified our behavior and who we really were.  We wisely adapted to the situations in our family and environment; successfully accomplished that task, and have survived into adulthood.  If we keep practicing living up to other people expectations, seeking approval from others, and honoring other people’s wishes over our own heart’s desires we will turn such behaviors into a habit.  If we are not conscious of our habits and do not change them, we will automatically repeat the same patterns in our adult life.

Why are we not comfortable to speak our truth?  Maybe we were ridiculed as a child by our friends, or punished by our parents or an authority at school for being out of line. We now may feel anxiety (memory of our childhood) when we attempt to speak our truth, and as a habit we avoid such situations and then wonder why we feel a heaviness inside.  As an adult it is important to look into our habits that could be an impediment to what we choose to become.

Magical Me

I was born a magical kid.

I once stood out among my friends.

I once was playful.

I once could think and act fast.

I once was proud of who I was and
it showed in my smile.

I was energetic and laughed easily and often.

Over time I believed that I needed to fit in
to be liked by others.

Over time I believed that I needed to dim my inner light
to be accepted by others
who have lost contact with their own magical self.

Now what and who I have turned into?

I am consumed by shame, guilt, grief and sorrow.

I walk lifelessly
with a bent frame.

I carry lots of baggage
keeping me from playing.

Instead of hearing my childhood laughter and enthusiasm
I hear myself saying…
“Oh no”, “I can’t”,”I don’t wanna”.

I speak with a soft voice
so I do not offend anyone
or attract attention to myself.

Today, I resurrect my real self!

Today, I walk through the seemingly long illusion of pleasing others.

I now use my strong voice to define my boundaries.

I now use a strong voice to express my truth.

I now take pride in my laughter and playfulness.

I now have dropped the heavy baggage.

I now stand tall and bright.

Welcome to wise, curious, playful
magical me.

Copyright @ 2012 by Shervin Hojat