How to Feel With Less Pain

Why it so difficult to feel “negative” feelings? Is feeling of sadness painful or the story associated with it is painful?

What happens when something good happens and we feel happy? We tell ourselves a good story. It goes something like that: “I am so lucky”, “I finally did it”, “I am worthwhile”, and “I am loved”. The positive story adds more joy to your feeling.

What happens when something bad happens and you feel sad? The story goes like this: “I am so unlucky”, “Nobody loves me”,’ I am a failure”, “I have nobody”. Of course the negative story adds pain to your feeling of loss and rejection.

How can we feel without experiencing so much pain? It can be done!

Follow the steps below:

1- Name the feeling (sad, rejected …) instead of bad or terrible.

2- Stop the story in your head. Stay calm and pay attention to your breath to distract yourself from thinking.

3- Be curious and connect with your feeling. Where is it in your body?  Feel it and get in touch with curiosity. Experience the feeling completely.

4- Repeat the process as is needed

You will be amazed how peaceful and relax you will feel after feeling a “negative” feeling following the above steps. You have finally listened and felt your feeling in the moment. You have connected with part of your soul that needed to be heard.

The feeling is similar to a situation that you want to share something important and somebody pays attention and lovingly listens to you and acknowledges you. It is an uplifting process.


Give it a try.

Copyright @ 2016 by Shervin Hojat

About Shervin

Author, Teacher, Poet, Engineer
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