How do we self-sabotage?
We know what the right thing to do is, but we do not do it.
For example, we may know that certain food or behavior is not good for us and we need to avoid them. Or we may know certain activity like monitoring our thoughts or exercise is beneficial to us. We even say, “I know” I need to do this.
Why is it that sometimes we are stuck in the status quo?
- We get stuck in over analyzing the situation
- We want to know all the reasons why we behave such a way.
- We keep focusing on our regret why we are in this situation in the first place.
- Here is the first step of self-sabotage.
- We do not take the first simple step
- Our mind convince us that our step should be bigger or more meaningful and we buy into it.
- Here is the second step of self-sabotage.
- Note that a simple step always is hardest and also is the most rewarding.
- We set ourselves for failure by not doing anything constructive towards our goal.
- We beat ourselves up for being a failure
- Here is the ultimate self-sabotage.
Allow me to give you an example of how we may do self-sabotage.
Let us assume you want to do lose 20 Lbs. to feel more fit and happier.
- You know that you need to be active daily for 45 minutes. But you cannot find that time.
- You may get upset (and stay upset) at yourself or obsess why you are so unfortunate and others seem to be so happy and fit.
- This is start of self-sabotage.
How do we break the self-sabotage?
- Re-iterate the reason why you want to lose weight.
- Are you doing it for yourself? For others? Someone important to you?
- Does the reason still excite and motivate you?
- If not find a better reason or re-evaluate your goal or its method.
- Start being active for even 3 minutes; show yourself that you are committed to your goal.
- Celebrate your simple steps.
- Focus on what feels like when you reach your goal.
- Look at ways to improve the activity time longer.
- Find a friend to support and encourage you toward your goal.
- Always be kind and gentle toward yourself.
Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat