Two weeks ago, I was inspired to share some of my recent poetry. I signed up as a speaker for my toastmaster group. I was looking forward to the meeting on that Friday.
On Wednesday afternoon I noticed several missed calls on my phone. I called back the number. It was from a person in my toastmaster. She asked me if I could forfeit my speaking position for two reasons:
1- She has a speech about Halloween that was very long and required two time slots.
2. She did not want her toastmaster friend to worry about another speaker.
Out of my past habit, I immediately said yes!
After hanging up the phone, I felt very sad about my decision. I was upset at myself and was also resentful.
I realized I did not had to say yes.
I asked myself, why did I give my spot to someone else while I was excited about my speech?
I realized this was my old habit had kicked in and sabotaged what I wanted to do. I realized I needed to be more aware of my old tendency.
You may sometimes say “Yes” to others instead of saying “Yes” to yourself.
How do we get out of such situations?
– Do not commit right away.
– Ask yourself, “Am I saying yes because of inner fear of avoiding external conflict?”
– Focus on what you love to do, when you cannot decide.
I have realized the things I love to do brings me joy and tasks that I feel I have to do sometimes brings me resentment – if it stops me from doing what I love to do.
Being a “nice person” and at the same time being resentful about it is self-defeating. It is more meaningful being nice to yourself and allowing your joy flow to others instead.
Something to ponder:
Are you committed to do what you love at expense of saying NO to others?
Copyright @2019 by Shervin Hojat