On Sunday, I woke up at 3 AM in the morning. I was consumed with a deep anger. It was very intense and I felt I was losing control. Under my anger was feeling that I was rejected and abandoned. The feeling was overwhelming and it was suffocating me. I asked my guides to take away my anger. It did not seem to work. I just wanted it to go away and to be calm so I can sleep again.
After a long ten minutes, I gave up asking for it to go away. I used another approach. I started acknowledging causes of my anger: hurt and abandonment. I listened to feeling of hurt and abandonment talking to me. Initially I felt very vulnerable and weak (judgement about those feelings). After five minutes, and some tears I felt lighter, calmer and liberated.
That morning I shared with my coach (we take turn coaching each other) my experience I had earlier that morning. He made an insightful comment, “It is interesting that you were upset about being rejected while you at first were rejecting your own feeling about being rejected.”
All of sudden, I starting laughing out loud. Then he started laughing. We laughed, as if we have heard the funniest joke ever. Perhaps we had! Our laughing lasted for two minutes. I had not laughed like that for about 45 years since I was a teenager.
I was reminded again that when we are very upset about something hurtful done by others, we need to look at ourselves first to see if we are doing a similar thing which we can control. That means being aware, being honest with ourselves, being vulnerable and being courageous in acknowledging the big pink elephant in front of us.
Copyright @ 2016 by Shervin Hojat