There are many events during the year when we may feel that we are not loved, or not loved enough by others. Valentine’s Day is one of the days where we may experience these feelings more than any other day of the year. Perhaps we did not get what we expected, or maybe we received nothing at all. It is important that we keep these thoughts and emotions in proper perspective; that is, “Who is responsible for our happiness?”
Our parents, caregivers, friends, or lovers all may have good intentions toward making us happy, but since they do not really know our inner thoughts and emotions, and their world view is tainted by their own perspectives, their efforts at best are temporary in making us joyful. In the context of Tend to Your Garden Within, we have weeds, flowers and trees in our garden. As a child, we relied on our parents and caregivers to protect the soil (soul) and plants in our garden within. As independent, educated adults we need to be responsible for deciding on the color and types of plants and flowers in our garden within, and how best to care for our garden within. We must remember that people external to us are no longer responsible to make us happy as adults.
We all have heard childhood stories about the prince that will ride in on a white horse, sweep us off our feet, and we will then live happily ever after. Ideally, it is much easier for us if someone removes our unhappiness and makes us feel happy and complete. In reality, the frantic search outside ourselves for the “prince” to make us happy may only bring us unfulfilled expectations and sorrow.
The misconception about happily ever stories is that the focus is on someone or something else (outside of us), who will arrive at our garden within, who will plant beautiful flowers for us and love us forever. In reality, that someone else (the prince) is not outside of us; he is a part of us that by our conscious choice we allow him to appear to us. His task is to assist us to tend to our garden within to experience joy more fully in our life.
It is important that we allow ourselves to experience and be responsible for our own joy and happiness; and then share this joy with others. By sharing with others, we magnify our individual feeling of joy and happiness at a magical level as couples, families and communities.